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have. A native Japanese speaker myself, but my wife keeps reminding me whatever I tell her in that language makes no sense and is ridiculous.

I will become a patissier, God willing.
by tuasfait on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 07:43:56 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Old Zen koan: If a man speaks, and his wife is not around to hear it, is he still wrong? ;-)

The world's northernmost desert wind.
by Sirocco (sirocco2005ATgmail.com) on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 09:02:50 AM EST
[ Parent ]
it depends if the wife is absent by design or by accident...

In the long run, we're all dead. John Maynard Keynes
by Jerome a Paris (etg@eurotrib.com) on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 10:12:19 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Ahem...gentlemen of the world:

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
Robert A. Heinlein

The two most important words a man should know in any language:  "yes, dear."  ;)

by caldonia on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 10:31:22 AM EST
[ Parent ]
True... On the other hand, though: "A woman will do anything you want - as long as you demand the opposite."

Hm, now who said that...? Humphrey Bogart?

The world's northernmost desert wind.

by Sirocco (sirocco2005ATgmail.com) on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 10:53:12 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Are you going to keep us in suspense?  Was it Bogie?
by caldonia on Wed Aug 17th, 2005 at 07:52:50 AM EST
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You're asking me? I was hoping you knew...

Methinks though that he said either that, or this: "A wise man does not contradict his wife; he waits until she does it herself."

Picture of the day: Bogie in Sirocco (1951). ;-)



The world's northernmost desert wind.

by Sirocco (sirocco2005ATgmail.com) on Wed Aug 17th, 2005 at 10:33:54 AM EST
[ Parent ]
A good friend of mine is Japanese, his wife is Danish, and they met in Scotland. He always insist on teaching his kids German so they can read Kant and Hegel. I always reply: At least they won't have any problems with Kierkegaard...
by PeWi on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 11:01:52 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Once upon a time, a Japanese student was assigned to translate "Bonjour Monsieur" in elementary French class. The student said, "How are you Mr. Bonjour?"

A friend of mine took Russian because the instructor was reputed to be very generous, but he was not sure he passed the final. So he went to see the instructor before the final results were announced (hoping to persuade the instructor to give him the credit). As he discovered, he had scored only 7 out of 100.

I will become a patissier, God willing.

by tuasfait on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 02:22:11 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Have you read Me Talk Pretty One Day, by David Sedaris?  He's an American comic-writer who relocated to France with his boyfriend.  He wrote a book about his attempts to learn French.  It is hilarious.  Highly recommend it.

And excerpt:

"Things began to come together, and I went from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly. "Is them the thoughts of cows?" I'd ask the butcher, pointing to the calves' brains displayed in the front window. "I want me some lamb chops with handles on `em.""

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

by p------- on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 02:37:12 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Wow, I love David Sedaris. I bought a copy of "Me Talk Pretty" at the Zurich airport by chance, and I kept laughing all the way home over the Siberian sky.

I will become a patissier, God willing.
by tuasfait on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 02:44:30 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Favorite of my wife's - We went to the baptism of one of my nephews and she said to my sister. "Das war eine wunderschoene Teufel." ups.


Teufel means devil - baptism is :Taufe, only two letters. (I told her afterwards, after I had calmed down my sister and she stopped laughing, that if she had remembered that Teufel is male and Taufe is female she would not have made that mistake.)

by PeWi on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 02:52:05 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I read somewhere a long time ago (before the invention of the internets) the story of a translation of a poem.

The article, I think it was in Die Zeit, described how this Goethe poem about a Rose, was translated back into German from the French, into which someone had translated it as a Japanese poem. Quite a Journey and quite a difference.
by PeWi on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 02:46:33 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Here's a travel story as told to me by an American friend from the south.  Trying to be polite and using phrasebook German while in Munich, my friend attempts to order beer at a pub.  The conversation went something like this:

Friend - "Zwei Bier bitte."
Bartender - "Was?"
Friend - "Zwei Bier bitte."
Bartender - "Was?" (Just can't understand the thick southern accent.)

Ok, this same exchange happens one more time and my frustrated southern friend says:  "two fucking beers, please!"

Bartender, in perfect English, replies:  "That's better."  Then promptly hands over two beers.
:)

by caldonia on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 03:07:31 PM EST
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Are you talking about Southern American or Southern German:) (I understand Hochdeutsch very well, Bavarian on the other hand...)

And Swiss German(s)...

I remember one time in a restaurant in the German speaking part of the Valais (Wallis) a bilingual mountainous canton in southern Switzerland.

A Swiss German guy at the next table is try to order.

Ich moechte Roesti (traditional Swiss dish of shredded potatos, baked in a clay container, sometimes other stuff added)
Was moechten Sie?
Roesti
Was?
Roesti!

this went on for a while till the waiter suddenly said
'aaah Roesti.'  The Swiss Germans don't even understand each other sometimes, every damn valley has its own dialect. It's why the Swiss French complain that it is no use bothering to learn German, only the educated actually speak it and even they don't do so amongst themselves.

God I hate Dialekt (that and handwritten old German script. Completely illegible. Different alphabet basically where every letter looks the same in cursive, a good reason to stick to post WWII history)

by MarekNYC on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 03:45:29 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I learned Suetterlin in school at the tender age of 6....
by PeWi on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 03:55:53 PM EST
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Is that like Fraktur?  I have several guides I use for deciphering that and I still go cross-eyed trying to read it.  They really took a lot of artistic lisence with that alphabet.

And Sütterlin ... ooh, that's just not right...

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

by p------- on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 03:57:05 PM EST
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It's the cursive version of Fraktur. Learning to read the printed version is fairly easy - spend a day reading stuff and you get used to it, sort of. The handwritten stuff on the other hand. Christ. There's even a special two week intensive course for grad students at some college in Pennsylvania that people go to before they hit the archives - otherwise they're just lost. I remember trying to read the letters of a prominent Ostforscher a couple years ago while going through various Nachlaesse - they might have had interesting stuff but how am I supposed to know? Spent a day, gave up. Photocopied them and I've looked at the stuff a few more times, still can't get anywhere.
by MarekNYC on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 04:06:29 PM EST
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Yes, the handwritten Fraktur is a headache!!  The thing is, I sometimes have to transcribe it, so it is not enough just to be able to read and get the gist of it (skipping over the words I can't make out.)  I have to get it exactly right.  The thing is, I don't think the people originally writing in it were always getting it exactly right...

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
by p------- on Tue Aug 16th, 2005 at 04:17:45 PM EST
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The Swiss Germans don't even understand each other sometimes, every damn valley has its own dialect.

There is one valley in the French part of Valois/Wallis inhabited by people with some mongoloid traits (especially eyes). The mythology has them as a marauding Hungarian tribe who decided to settle there, or alternatively, Huns a few centuries earlier.

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.

by DoDo on Wed Aug 17th, 2005 at 04:37:57 AM EST
[ Parent ]

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