One thing about disability is that non-disabled people automatically view disability in terms of loss and in terms of what you don't have.

People look at me and say things like "I don't know how I'd cope without my hearing."  But I'm just fine. It gives me my own unique perspective on the world, I have my own way of interacting with my environment and I have adapted to doing things my way in a way that overcomes or reduces most barriers that I come across.

You talk about segregation not being the answer and I agree fully.  But you look at it from the viewpoint of taking that deaf child and helping them to fit into hearing society. How about the other way around?  If more hearing people used sign language, so many of those barriers for Deaf people would disappear.  Why isn't BSL taught on the school curriculum? Why isn't it a language option at GCSE and A level?  

Why isn't the education system more accessible to disabled children?  Why aren't extra curricular activities made accessible? Why is it such a hassle to get decent customer service at the shops and the bank and the cinema? Why is my money less important in the marketplace than that of a non-disabled person?

Some deaf children you cannot give hearing to, even with all the will in the world and with the best technology available. You can help some children to an extent but there is no cure for deafness. Even those all-singing, all-dancing cochlear implants come with huge risks and don't always work. They don't last a lifetime either.

All parents want to do what is best for their child.  My parents thought they were doing the best thing for me by giving me hearing aids and not allowing me to lipread or sign. I didn't meet another deaf child until I was 9. I was bullied horrifically from aged 6 until I left school at 18 more or less. I was isolated from other children, I didn't have access to extra curricular activities, I had teachers who refused to teach me and had me excluded from their classes because I was deaf and I left school with no self confidence and no self esteem.

Now if I had been given access to the Deaf Community and had been allowed to learn how to sign (as well as learning to speak English and read and write - a bilingual upbringing) then I would have been able to develop some kind of self identity and pride in who I am at a much earlier age, I'd have had some kind of support system to fall back on and a sense of belonging somewhere instead of being an outcast.  If my schools had been more clued up and accessible and genuinely integrated, they wouldn't have allowed the bullying or tolerated teachers blatantly discriminating against me.  These people denied me access to my education, they denied me access to my natural language and they blocked my access to society.  That is alienation. BSL could have enriched my life...

And I fully agree where you say that

The solution to that should be to make our world more accessible to everyone and to help the disabled have independence and to treat them with dignity.

But that is not the world we live in.

For Deaf people, they want to protect their children from going through the experiences that I went through and indeed that many of them also went through.

I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet but I am very bright and that alone saved me. Take your average deaf person who goes through similar experiences to me - most likely they will drop out of school early, be illiterate, not have any access to participating in society, just simply not understanding how society works, and how can you not be angry or bitter if you've gone through that?  And that is why the Deaf Community is so defensive in keeping themselves separate from the hearing world.  And yes, I agree that some of those people go too far in isolating their community from the world around them and that is just as unhelpful as isolating a child in a world that they can't take full part in.

The way that you discuss deafness and disability, speaks very strongly to me that you are influenced by social constructs and societal norms around disability. That in itself leads to various forms of institutional discrimination - like you say, you aren't aware of 'audism' but even if people are not conciously discriminating against deaf people, society is set up in such a way that it just isn't accessible to them and therefore deaf people are oppressed and disadvantaged by that.  

I hope you understand that I am not criticising you or anything you have said but there is another viewpoint to expose, that I hope can go some way to answering some of the queries you raise.

Ad astra per aspera