Listen, sonny, I know what it's like to be drunk with yer extremely rich father-in-law at 4 am in the kitchen of an Aalto house. The staff go off at 2 am, come what may. After that, you know where the key to the cellar is. It's hidden under the Braque print, where Bertil, the alcoholic second husband of the financial watershed grandmother, cannot find it. He hates Braque, being Swedish semi-nobility - so.

This is in a house designed so that every single light can be ignited by a single switch at the entrance. This is good for returning drunks - staggering around reaching under shades of Bernard Leach lamps is tricky. The main thing is to keep as horizontal as possible and play the part.

You can't be me, I'm taken