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globeandmail.com: Streetwise - Pirate humour rules Wall Street

Argggg, Maties! Here's what shell-shocked financiers are laughing at on Wall Street Friday morning in a phony Bloomberg story:

Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

By Andreas Hippin
   November 20 (Bloomberg) -- The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.

   The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said. 

   "You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to
offer the shareholders anything," said Ali.

   The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities.  The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden.  Moody's and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS's.

by Fran (fran at eurotrib dot com) on Fri Nov 21st, 2008 at 03:28:42 PM EST
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