For all of those who already use Facebook the news I'm about to bring you are good; for MySpace people - not so much. There's a Russian version of Facebook, though it's completely independent, and in no way connected to Facebook, except for one thing - it is an almost exact copy of the way Facebook used to look before (the old Facebook), translated into Russian. It's called «в контакте» [in contact] and can be found online as www.vkontakte.ru. (I'm sorry for the poor quality of the following pictures - there must be something wrong with the uploading-pictures-machine on Wordpress...)

And now we take the next step - or to be honest, a step back - and enter «в союзе» [in the union]. Here, as you might have been able to guess, we find the following `functions': «Мои Товарищи» [My Comrades] «Мои Фотокарточки» [My Snapshots] «Мои Киноленты» [My Reels of Film] «Мои Телеграммы» [My Telegrams] «Мои Записки» [My Notes] «Мои Союзы» [My Unions] «Мои Собрания» [My Assemblies] «Моё Информбюро» [My Inform Bureau] «Мои Настройки» [My Tuners].

Must. Resist. Urge to Join social networking site solely on basis of its profound coolness.

- Telegraph: Garden gnomes banned from church cemetery because they are 'unnatural creatures'

The gnomes, along with plastic flowers and other decorations such as teddy bears, have been called "inappropriate" and tacky by the Diocese of Bath and Wells.

The church banned the garden figures from Wrington and Congresbury cemeteries in Somerset, and have said they will remove any that they find as part of new guidelines issued by the Chancellor of the Diocese, Worshipful Timothy Briden.

A spokesman for the Diocese of Bath and Wells said: "There is no such thing as a real gnome so why should we have such unnatural creatures in churchyards?"

The spokesman added: "Things such as gnomes and plastic flowers are not permitted because they are aesthetically unattractive and they make it harder to maintain the grounds.

"The historic churchyards are part of Somerset and we want to keep them tidy and safe.

"If people want their loved ones to be buried in one of our churchyards then they have to stick to the rules which are clearly displayed at all churchyards."

The decision to ban the gnomes and statues has been met with criticism from the community however.

Hollie Richards, 24, who has lived in Congresbury all her life and has two grandparents, an uncle and an aunt buried in St Andrew's churchyard in the cemetery, said: "People should be free to put what they want around the gravestones as it is down to personal preference.

"It helps the grieving process as you can surround the grave of the person you love with possessions that were important to them.

I'm pretty sure Angels are unnatural creatures.  As well as Christs.  And Vampires.  And Ghosts.  But, no, they get full rein of these places.  I mean really, if you are going to allow dead people in, I don't see how you can justify turning away anything else.  Being dead is generally where I draw the line when it comes to deciding who can visit me, anyway...

- Gapers Block: As Long As You're Warm, Right?

If allowing corporate sponsorship/renaming rights of CTA stops doesn't whack your mole, perhaps warmer waits for the bus in the name of "experimental marketing" will...Kraft is teaming up with JCDecaux (French for "this bus shelter is very fashionable and sturdy") for an ad campaign for Stove Top this month that involves radiating warm air from ten downtown bus shelters in an effort to "bring to life the warm feeling that consumers get when they eat stuffing." Kraft will also be handing out samples of their newest feat of stuffing research, an item called "Quick Cups," at selected shelters. I'll be keeping gravy in my commuter mug in eager anticipation.

Let me see if I understand.  Paris hires JCDecaux and gets added bonus of a city bike rental program.  Chicago hires JCDecaux and gets added bonus of re-heated stuffing out of a box.   Can someone please tell me the least painless way to kill myself?  Thanks.

- Pravda: Putin and the animals

Vladimir Putin, Russia's incumbent Prime Minister, owns a Labrador dog named Koni. The dog's full name is Koni Palgrave. The dog was born in 1999 and was raised at a cynological center of Russia's EMERCOM. The dog's mother is named Henrietta Bush, whereas her father's name is Alkor Ros Bradford. Putin received the puppy as a gift from EMERCOM Minister Sergei Shoigu in 2001.

Koni has a unique sense of smell. The dog always sniffs Putin's guests prior to all official meetings, to which the pet is allowed. The dog receives three meals a day and has a special fondness for porridge with meat.

In 2002 Putin received two goitered gazelles as a gift from the President of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazarbayev. The two little gazelles arrived at the Moscow zoo. One of the animals died several days after, whereas the second one, which zoo employees named in Putin's honor as Vlada, was subsequently sent to the city of Penza. Unfortunately, Vlada died in April of 2003.

Putin received another four-legged gift during his visit to the city of Kazan, the republic of Tatarstan - a mini-pony named as Chip. The tiny horse was only 57 cm tall. Putin took the pony to Sochi, where the animal was given another name - Vadik.

Toy puddles Tosya and Rodeo, as well as goat Skazka, arrived at Putin's residence in Sochi in 2003. Putin received the snow-white goat from Moscow mayor Yury Luzhkov. Afterwards, the goat was transferred to the presidential residence in Novo-Ogaryovo, the Moscow region. The latter is the home to a stepping horse from Kyrgyzstan and a chestnut stud from Bashkiria's leader, Murtazy Rakhimov. Vadik, the dwarfish horse, also resides in the Moscow region now. The presidential residence has also become the home to a Siberian tiger. Several people and a veterinary doctor have been employed to take care of Putin's animals.

Three Arab race horses, which Putin received from the King of Jordan, and three horses from the former head of Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf, were given away to the Moscow race course.

Two little gazelles, a mini-pony and a goat?  I think this finally proves my long held suspicion that if P.T. Barnum and St. Francis of Assisi reproduced, their son would be named Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

- Siberian Light: Save money - be smelly like Zhirinovsky

Russian loony Far Right leader Vladimir Zhirinovsky has been setting working hard to save his roubles in the current financial crisis.

Clearly no fan of personal hygeine, he explains his money saving regime:

"I have been thrifty. I am not having my hair cut. My hair has already grown longer than ever. I only shave every other day. I eat very little. I never go out. I never invite anyone over to my place. I don't buy presents for anyone and I am asking people not to buy anything for me. I am not travelling anywhere," he said.

Zhirinovskiy also said there was no need to spend money on personal hygiene products because "all these are chemical and hazardous". Fewer newspapers should be bought because the same newspaper can be shared "by all next-door neighbours" or perhaps "the entire block", he continued.

(Via Johnson's Russia List 2008 ~215)

Tortally insane AND smells horrid.  The man is Moscow personified!  And I mean that in the absolute nicest way possible.

Come, my friends, 'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.