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Thanks.  What about the tone - still venting a bit much?  I must admit I'm trying to stir things up a bit....  although I don't really think such a long letter will be published in full, if at all.  I'm just trying to get my head around what I would like to say.

"It's a mystery to me - the game commences, For the usual fee - plus expenses, Confidential information - it's in my diary..."
by Frank Schnittger (mail Frankschnittger at hot dotty communists) on Sat Jun 14th, 2008 at 01:15:45 PM EST
[ Parent ]
What if you cut out the second paragraph entirely?

When the capital development of a country becomes a by-product of the activities of a casino, the job is likely to be ill-done. — John M. Keynes
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Sat Jun 14th, 2008 at 01:17:07 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I could soften the "laughable" to ironic or bizarre  - but that paragraph links to and quotes a previous letter - which improves chances of publication and attacks the central contention of the NO campaign that they were somehow being more democratic and European than the yes side.  It also highlights the central political/negotiating problem now facing Cowen - some very pissed off fellow council members.

I am trying to create a sense that the NO vote wasn't simply preserving the status quo - it does have a downside and we need to move quickly to repair that damage.

"It's a mystery to me - the game commences, For the usual fee - plus expenses, Confidential information - it's in my diary..."

by Frank Schnittger (mail Frankschnittger at hot dotty communists) on Sat Jun 14th, 2008 at 01:39:17 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Can you merge it with the first?

When the capital development of a country becomes a by-product of the activities of a casino, the job is likely to be ill-done. — John M. Keynes
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Sat Jun 14th, 2008 at 01:45:02 PM EST
[ Parent ]
The Irish Times house style is for very short paragraphs - the first is already too long.

I have no doubt they would cut it - if they publish it at all - but it is hard to predict which bits they would cut - and so I might just leave the choice up to them.

"It's a mystery to me - the game commences, For the usual fee - plus expenses, Confidential information - it's in my diary..."

by Frank Schnittger (mail Frankschnittger at hot dotty communists) on Sat Jun 14th, 2008 at 01:59:22 PM EST
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