Analyzing this further, Grinder and Bandler stated that there were a few common traits expert communicators - whether top therapists, top executives or top salespeople - all seemed to share:
You see in it what you want to see in it.
But those quotes are lifted from the wikipedia entry on NLP - neurolinguistic programming. I was looking for some clues to how to 'change the frame' from different sources. The quotes stood out as I read them, because whatever one might think of NLP, they contained a lot of insight for me. And, as you say, the first batch are a pretty good description of the capabilities needed for leadership, communication and cooperation. You can't be me, I'm taken
Ironically it doesn't communicate what 'success' is. Is someone who's earning $100 million a year successful by definition? Mozart died in poverty. So did Van Gogh. Were they succesful or not? Did they have these skills?
And so on.
In fact, like the rest of NLP, it's rather a glib and superficial list of attributes - perfect for sunny-side-up management consultancy meetings where the aim is a bit of light challenge followed by ego fluffing and corporate cheerleading, but perhaps not quite the deep insight it appears to be.
In the real world the defining characteristic of 'successful' executives seems to be pig-headed stupidity and an asteroid-sized sense of entitlement. There's the odd exception who can demonstrate a track record of strategic foresight, but it's much easier to find execs barreling through their careers with an almost total lack of self-awareness, empathy for others, or connection to the real world, defining their 'success' in short-term gains and newspaper column inches, and 'communication' as absolute and total control over the corporate message.
Perhaps there's a reason the UK and US MBAs are notoriously bad managers?
They kept trying different approaches until they learned enough about the structure holding a problem in place to change it.
Ultimately it seems to get down to changing changing peoples' perceptions, including their self perceptions. We all want to feel good about ourselves. Bringing to consciousness contradictions between strongly held values and/or between values, identity and conduct and between conduct and outcomes can be a means of accomplishing that. I have seen one such technique described as "inflicting wounds on the narcissistic ego". Reality is currently performing that task massively. As the Dutch said while fighting the Spanish: "It is not necessary to have hope in order to persevere."
