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Jesse Helms is dead.  Can't say I'm sad about that one, except perhaps about the fact that he died on July 4th.

Rot in Hell, Jesse.

Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. - George Carlin

by Drew J Jones (myfriends@thisispancakes.com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 11:02:55 AM EST
Jesse's Greatest Hits edition



Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. - George Carlin

by Drew J Jones (myfriends@thisispancakes.com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 11:14:11 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Gotta love the angry white hands.

When the capital development of a country becomes a by-product of the activities of a casino, the job is likely to be ill-done. — John M. Keynes
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 11:15:59 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Yep.  Clever, clever stuff.

Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. - George Carlin
by Drew J Jones (myfriends@thisispancakes.com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 11:17:41 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Unfortunately, I can't seem to find a video of Helms opposing AIDS research on grounds that it would "promote the ho-mo-sexual agenda". :\

Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. - George Carlin
by Drew J Jones (myfriends@thisispancakes.com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 11:42:29 AM EST
[ Parent ]
The Homosexual Agenda

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it.

Well, I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual.

It follows below:

    6:00 am  Gym
    8:00 am  Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
    9:00 am  Hair appointment
   10:00 am  Shopping
   12:00 PM  Brunch

    2:00 PM
     1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local
     Governments as well as all other national governments,
     2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
     3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
     4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian
     and Jamaican drug cartels,
     5) Establish planetary chain of "homo breeding gulags" where over-medicated
     imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby
     factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly
     pederastic gay leadership,
     6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
     7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the
     exclusive use of child pornographers.

    2:30 PM   Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from
     stress of world conquest
    4:00 PM  Cocktails
    6:00 PM  Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
    8:00 PM  Theater
   11:00 PM  Bed (du jour)?



When the capital development of a country becomes a by-product of the activities of a casino, the job is likely to be ill-done. — John M. Keynes
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 12:06:31 PM EST
[ Parent ]
No, you forgot one:

3.30 Be absolutely fabulous.

Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. - George Carlin

by Drew J Jones (myfriends@thisispancakes.com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 12:12:52 PM EST
[ Parent ]
This isn't that, but it'll do.  It's from 1991.

As one of Jesse Helms' former constituents, all I have to say is, "Jesse, welcome home."

by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 12:11:56 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Oh, and how could I forget Jesse's great renaming of UNC?

The University of Negroes and Communists.

Or his description of homosexuals as

weak, morally sick wretches.

Or his reaction to civil rights marches, saying,

The Negro cannot count forever on the kind of restraint that's thus far left him free to clog the streets, disrupt traffic, and interfere with other men's rights.

I'm really glad to see the likes of Helms becoming museum pieces in much of the South, having suffered listening to their shit, and that of their disciples, my whole life.

Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. - George Carlin

by Drew J Jones (myfriends@thisispancakes.com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 12:18:21 PM EST
[ Parent ]
It makes me feel sick that people like this are still around and have a mainstream platform for their bigotted views. At least there is one less around now.

Ad astra per aspera
by In Wales (inwales aaat eurotrib.com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 12:33:38 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I'm angry about the press glossing over his filth.

I just regret Helms couldn't live to see Obama win North Carolina.  Reducing him to a tear-soaked, pathetic old man as he watches North Carolina collectively piss on his legacy would've filled my heart with a joy I can't properly describe.

I'll settle for us being able to sing "Dixie" mockingly over his grave November 4th.  Hopefully there's a Hell he can hear it from.

Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. - George Carlin

by Drew J Jones (myfriends@thisispancakes.com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 12:55:01 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I like the one about "Helms hasn't disrupted any of your neighborhoods".

Well, isn't that the point? He has, through legislation.

When the capital development of a country becomes a by-product of the activities of a casino, the job is likely to be ill-done. — John M. Keynes

by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 12:47:22 PM EST
[ Parent ]
"No, he's just trying to kill us."
by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 01:44:41 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Check out his fanclub.

When the capital development of a country becomes a by-product of the activities of a casino, the job is likely to be ill-done. — John M. Keynes
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 01:12:23 PM EST
[ Parent ]
[shudder]
by Sassafras on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 04:31:30 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Well, I have been having difficulty in finding a suitable topic for my local paper's "Why I am Proud to be an American."  That Ole' Jessie could manage such exquisite timing as to die on the 4th of July....Naw, still won't work.

As the Dutch said while fighting the Spanish: "It is not necessary to have hope in order to persevere."
by ARGeezer (ARGeezer a in a circle eurotrib daught com) on Fri Jul 4th, 2008 at 01:16:51 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I am. It means I'll have to avoid the U.S. press for a few days, to avoid the gushing tributes to him.

Many years ago, somebody tried to persuade me to apply to the University of N.C. One of his reasons was that I would be able to vote against Helms...

by gk (g k quattro due due sette "at" gmail.com) on Sat Jul 5th, 2008 at 12:23:28 AM EST
[ Parent ]

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