Both do both. Men are just as much prey to the delusion that if only I can get her to sleep with me she'll want me on other levels as well. The social sexual stereotyping that I see on the other side is the belief that a single guy who has no moral problems with casual sex will always want it.

however the horny drunk mobs of ibiza, that come from england, are an example, like most porn, of womens' identity being subsumed to mens' fantasies.

I think that's only partly true - i.e. what that is is also women playing the 'be popular' game, and just doing what it takes to get laid. The college crowd I was in was really not that sort of frat boy type one. And god knows getting straight guys to kiss each other really isn't part of a broader social stereotype of straight male fantasies. That was even more true fifteen years ago.

why not?

just because of the sexual behaviour that is the result of the unegailitarian setup we have now?

What I was specifically referring to is the way desire crowds out responsibility once people start fooling around. And I don't see women being less prone to that than men. You start out thinking, well, we can fool around and do all sorts of stuff that doesn't require condoms. A little while later...

The one absolute difference I've seen is in the use of violence and physical coercion to get sex. Women don't seem to do that. How much of that is to do with strength differences I don't know. That difference is also what keeps the more extreme examples of women pressuring guys into sex that I've known about from being rape or sexual assault.

On a semi related note, I've also known more women than men who are genuinely into serious open relationships, as opposed to simply selfishly into cheating. (The difference is honesty and a complete lack of sexual jealousy.)