Dearest Joe and Tim and Mitt
I'd best get right to the heart of it
Since all of my best efforts are failin'
I'm forced to go with Sarah Palin
It's not you; you're all just swell
But this campaign has gone to hell
And so it's with some deep regret
That I appoint this playboy pet
She's not qualified for the post
But she's the lady I like most
And right now what this ticket lacks
Is someone that looks hot in slacks
Someone who can have a child
Will send the lady voters wild
And cause them to stampeed to me
It'll happen, wait and see
I tried to appeal to the voter's mind
And found myself, well, "left behind"
My only option was to pick
A female christian lunatic
So I'm sorry, to you all
That one of you didn't get the call
But in this race, as you must see
It's all about electing me
My only chance here is to punt
And choose this silly Alaskan *

(* Word chosen because he has a history of using it)