many women to decide the strain is too much. They take a less challenging role
I think this is essential. A lot of women choose to level out and stay put at a certain job definition, because pushing for a higher level means utter devotion to the job (which men and very few women are free to practise). In part, what this means is also that demands on the devotion and elasticity of hours of "those who succeed" have increased over the last few decades, eating up whatever progress the notion of gender equality at work may have made during the same period.
And it's sold to us with the "you too can be a winner" tag. Gaah.
As you say the expectation of being totally devoted to the job at the expense of having a life just isn't realistic if we want to break down these inequalities. Ad astra per aspera
What works for me is to be present in the office, but on flexible hours so I can manage our child's school hours and after-school activities and my wife's work requirements. A vivid image of what should exist acts as a surrogate for reality. Pursuit of the image then prevents pursuit of the reality -- John K. Galbraith
True you could take your employer to tribunal if you are turned down but that's a lengthy process to go through that will undoubtedly damage the relationship between employer and employee. Ad astra per aspera
Even in some of the relationships were they take care of the children more or less together, some of the men just fix their business agenda without checking if their wive is not also busy at work and it seems to be normal that she tries to rearange here agenda. And the home still seems to be considered mostly her domain, unfortunately.
It works really well for them and it means that both parents are able to spend time with the children and there is a fairly equal division of care, work and household stuff. But this is an exception to the rule. Ad astra per aspera
