Paris, under global warming snow.

As the Titanic was steaming towards New York, a machine room crew discovered that there was a hole in the hull, a hole that was getting bigger and bigger.

The Captain, made aware of the situation by his Chinese Second in command, realized that such a hole could only be contained if all the passengers gave their metals, be it gold, lead or copper, metal which would be welded into a plate that would be plated upon the hole in the leak

The lower deck crew was ordered first to surrender all their meagre belongings and they pointed out quite rightly that with what they possessed you could not make an armour plate larger than a handkerchief.

The Higher Ranking Crew when asked pointed out that everything they had was property of the Company and that willing as they were to make sacrifice, they could not surrender which was not theirs

The Captain then addressed the passengers; First class passengers were horrified and rushed to the cable room to send aggressive telegrams demanding the dismissal on the spot of the Captain and preferably that he should made to walk the plank. Who could blame them? They had paid for a fare from London to New-York with hard earned money earned by their beloved grand-grand-father and now their rights were trampled and obscene demands put on them.

Third class passengers, those parked in the holds were more than willing to contribute rags an d sweat but told that regretfully this would not sufficient

In the meantime the hole was getting bigger, and the First Class passenger complained bitterly that there was not enough tortoise taste in the soup and that they were incommode by the leaning of the ship and ordered the Captain to shift the hold scum to the other side of the ship so that they could enjoy their rightful rights to a luxury travel. How would they be expected to dance if the dance floor was leaning?

As the hole in the hulk was getting bigger and bigger the ship was slowed down and never even noticed the iceberg floating in the darkness on the starboard.

Finally, the ship arrived in New York, the corpses of the drowned machine room members and third class passengers that had been drowned were very discreetly disembarked.

The Capture never set his foot again on the bridge of a ship.

The first class passengers were so upset, they had to recruit new maids and servants to replace those that had been drowned.

Old Nils, Un elephant dans mon carburateur

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anaïs Nin