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There once was a town called Sleepy-Little-Town.

All of its citizens were hard working and honest and they lived in tranquility for thousands of years.  In order to exchange goods and keep track of who owned what, they used shiny little stones which they safeguarded individually in, of all things, combination safes in their homes.  The problem was, on occasion, one of the citizens would forget his/her safe combination code and couldn't go to the Sunday Farmer's Market to stock up on the most prized food stuff around, domesticated truffles.  On more than one occasion, the cry would ring out throughout the land; "Alas, alack!  I have forgotten my safe code and will starve without truffles!  What will I do?"  And so a new profession was borne, the SafeCracker, who had the ability to open up safes without knowing the codes because of his very sensitive hearing, derived from excessive truffle consumption.

But one day an unscrupulous SafeCracker decided to go from home to home while the citizens were at work and steal all of their shiny stones and defile what truffles were about, the cad.  That day, when the citizens came home all sweaty from their hard work and hoping to sit, enjoy a beer, and watch their favorite TV program "Revolution with In Wales" (it was an import) they discovered the theft of their stones and the entire town was in an uproar.  "We will all starve without our shiny stones!  We are doomed!  What will we do?"  One bright individual named Helen suggested that they rename all of their chickens "Republicans" but few understood the meaning of this sage advice coming from one of the far-seeing wise-people.  And amidst the uproar, a simple child, seeing everyone in distress shouted, "We do not need shiny stones, or safes, or SafeCrackers to survive and be happy. We grow our own food in our fields, we raise our own livestock, and the trufflemonger always makes sure that we have an abundance of truffles."  The crowd grew silent and calm, and realized the great wisdom from the child.  

So they decided to change their system of bartering so they no longer valued shiny stones, did not need safes or SafeCrackers.  They hunted down the unscrupulous SafeCracker, caught hoarding his shiny stones, and turned him over to the local Ph.D. Biochemist with the instructions to "do with him as you will" (let's not go there.  This could be a family blog.)  And finally, to put the entire affair behind them, Helen had them slaughter all of their chickens and they had a great feast.  Yes, Helen was truly wise.

Finis

In the end, might makes right. Nothing has changed since the caveman.

by THE Twank (yatta blah blah @ blah.com) on Sat Mar 28th, 2009 at 04:04:42 PM EST
The unscrupulous SafeCracker was never seen again, but more than one person was heard to remark at the local Farmer's Market, "My, aren't the truffles luxurious this year.  So plentiful and full of flavor.  The local Ph.D. biochemist who supplies the fertilizer to the trufflemonger must realy know how to do multivariat analysis and avoid time-related biases by ALWAYS randomizing the time order of experiments", but that's another parable for another time.

In the end, might makes right. Nothing has changed since the caveman.
by THE Twank (yatta blah blah @ blah.com) on Sat Mar 28th, 2009 at 04:19:42 PM EST
[ Parent ]
a whole new batch of chickens were imported from a neighboring village, and they were called "Progressives" and they all lived happily ever after, until the great truffle blight, but let's not go into that just now.

In the end, might makes right. Nothing has changed since the caveman.
by THE Twank (yatta blah blah @ blah.com) on Sat Mar 28th, 2009 at 04:39:49 PM EST
[ Parent ]

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