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[citation needed] Can you prove that you are the leader of your own religion? Who else can vouch for the truth of you being the leader of your own religion? Has your book of revelations been printed, and cited anywhere in the literature? Do you rent or own a building specifically for the purpose of worship? Have you registered for tax exempt status already?

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by martingale on Tue Jun 23rd, 2009 at 02:28:25 AM EST
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Prove? No, of course not. That I am the leader is a matter of faith! No one can vouch, I am the high priestess and thus no one is in a position to speak about me, and the truths revealed to me. It is forbidden to print the word of Zxgerica. Worship must take place in open air, no building allowed. The church pays tax because Zxgerica has demanded it. "As the world is in the church so is the church in the world, and taxation shall be abided". Paying tax is one of the 63 supreme commandments. In fact, the church has its own minimal tax scale, and if the government has a lower rate we are forced to push money on it. You have no idea how annoying it is to try to explain this. We keep being accused of bribery!
by someone (s0me1smail(a)gmail(d)com) on Tue Jun 23rd, 2009 at 02:55:52 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Indeed this is a marvellous religion, which I would be glad to join if I wasn't already sworn to forsake worship. It was a mere youthful indiscretion, to be sure, but one whose consequences... grew... and well, are we not all chained to our past, one way or another? *sigh*.

Unfortunately, I must deny your request to be taken seriously. My hands are tied, you understand, but without sufficient corroboration by other parties, it is very difficult. There are individuals, you see, highly unscrupulous individuals... and you will laugh at this: they pretend to have a religion! I know, I know, how could anyone believe them? Ha, ha. They are of course nothing like you, but you see, your temporary... shall we say lack of documentation... puts you, regrettably, in their company. It happens to the best of us, I could tell you stories... but I digress.

Of course, my door is always open should you come upon a reliable set of references, and I have little doubt that your present predicament cannot last. In my experience, leaders of idiosyncratic religions often pass through a period of tribulation and testing, it's in the nature of the thing, and is usually not fatal. (Well, I say it isn't fatal, but how would I know about the fatal cases, I ask you? Ha, ha.)

I trust therefore that I shall see you soon, with all the paperwork in order, and together we shall be able to put this little contretemps behind us once and for all, with all the contempt it so richly deserves. My secretary will be happy to make an appointment for you.

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by martingale on Tue Jun 23rd, 2009 at 03:58:44 AM EST
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