I can't tell you what to do with that sack of ashes, Helen.  I'm not very good with my own. There has indeed been a psychic price to pay for what happened at the end of 2008, and, the heavier it's been, the more determined I've been to carry it alone.

What I will say, though, as much to me as to you: if not here, if not now, then where? When? x