The England team has always been a rich source of black humour, and there's good pickings this year. One hopes they get through to the knock-out stages, for the slapstick opportunities.

How about Looney Rooney, the boy wonder who never grew up? I remember his first big tournament, he wasn't old enough to tie his bootlaces, and knocked himself out in the opening minutes by falling over his feet. This time he's supended for the first two matches, having committed a nasty foul against a Montenegro player. Sorry, did I say Negro? A Monteafroyugoslav player.

Stand-up comedy is what the English do best.

_{It is rightly acknowledged that people of faith have no monopoly of virtue - Queen Elizabeth II}