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In Dedication to Helen

by Drew J Jones Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 05:52:11 PM EST

So Atrios has taken to naming periods of time after politicians' and pundits' opinions of how much longer we have to get it right in Iraq.  For example:

1 Thomas Friedman ("a Friedman") = 6 months,
1 John McCain = 7 months (or approx. 1.17 Friedmans),
and so on.

My classmate, Helen, has suggested that we must succeed in 5 years, 163 days, 17 hours, and 28.5 minutes, or pull out.  She was rather nasty with me on the subject when we discussed it on poker night, so I thought, being the ass that I am, I would write this.  Her view works out to be approximately 10.9 Friedmans, at a rough guess (because I'm too fucking lazy to do the math).

I thus nominate her to the Blogger Time-Unit List:

1 Helen = 10.9 Friedmans

That is all.  Take the poll.

Note: I actually, thanks to Stormy's failure to correct me in time, wrote that the math worked out to 10.4 Friedmans initially. So, now that I've shown myself to be completely incapable of doing the basic mathematics necessary for my field, I shall hereby drop out of economics and begin my career as a garbage collector. Workers of the world, unite, and all that....


Poll
Do you accept Drew's new time unit?
. Yay 50%
. Nay 50%

Votes: 4
Results | Other Polls
Display:
But... but... we have a Helen.  It could be confusing.

Although that is a remarkably specific figure.

Hmmm.  I'm not voting.

by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 05:58:09 PM EST
Stormy, you schmuck: I wrote 10.4 initially.  You're from the fucking Middle East.  You pricks invente3d mathematics.  You should've been the first to correct me, saying that it was more like 10.9.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:03:29 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I'm not from the Middle East, I just live here.  Mathmatics are not contagious.
by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:53:55 PM EST
[ Parent ]
And neither are mathEmatics.

But bad spelling apparently is.

by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:54:55 PM EST
[ Parent ]
f y r frm th Mddl st y dn't hv t s vwls!  

s tht grt, r wht?

The Fates are kind.

by Gaianne on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 08:18:25 AM EST
[ Parent ]
bsltly!  wh nds vwls nywy?  thy'r wy vrrtd.
by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 11:15:18 AM EST
[ Parent ]
No backtalk!  I'll have Alberto Gonzalez on here in a New York minute...terrorist. ;)

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:59:15 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Don't even start with me, bub.  I'll see your Gonzalez and raise you a Hezbollah.
by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 07:01:24 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Ah, muy bien, mi amigo.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 07:04:39 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Ha ha... read 'em and weep...
by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 07:07:56 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Two Arafats and a Sharon say you're bluffing, though.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 07:05:30 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Dude, you can't bet with dead guys.
by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 07:08:21 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Sharon and Arafat are not dead.  They're somewhere out there, hiding with Tupac no doubt.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 07:11:11 PM EST
[ Parent ]
No, they were there, but Elvis kicked them out because they couldn't quit squabbling over the remote control.
by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 07:20:29 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Did you not read my comment?  Tupac.  You know: The rapper whose name sounds like a Jewish holiday.  He would've "capped" Elvis long before that human pill bottle could have made it to his feet.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 07:26:34 PM EST
[ Parent ]
What are you, high?  Tupac and Elvis, man, they're like this.  Who do you think helped Tupac stage his own death?
by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 07:35:35 PM EST
[ Parent ]
<keanu>
Whoa.
</keanu>
by ThatBritGuy (thatbritguy (at) googlemail.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 10:05:40 PM EST
[ Parent ]
We paint quite a picture, eh?

Fo' shizzle my nizzle.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.

by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 02:24:39 PM EST
[ Parent ]
A Jewish holiday?

Those whom the Gods wish to destroy They first make mad. -- Euripides
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 02:27:11 PM EST
[ Parent ]
by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 04:00:22 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Hang with mathematicans and you break-out in rings.

She believed in nothing; only her skepticism kept her from being an atheist. -- Jean-Paul Sartre
by ATinNM on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 10:36:23 PM EST
[ Parent ]


The Fates are kind.
by Gaianne on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 08:22:56 AM EST
[ Parent ]

...seemed like a good idea at the time (creativity is theft)

You can't be me, I'm taken

by Sven Triloqvist on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:07:30 PM EST
Have had to much alcohol toonight to know where too go with that one.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:10:14 PM EST
[ Parent ]
What is wrong with my friggin' "o" key?

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:12:40 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Sven, just vote "Yay" in the damned poll.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:11:01 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Druze, I am not sure I can. I'd like to know more about this apparently arbitary unit the HeN. How do you convert from a HeN to a Drw, and if so, is it a liquid measure or dry volume?

You can't be me, I'm taken
by Sven Triloqvist on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:19:25 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I rather thought you would've known it to be impossible to move from one Drew (DrU?) to a HeN, given that

1 Drew = 0 Friedmans

Since dividing by zero yields an undefined result, we cannot solve for Friedmans in this case, and can thus not solve for Helens.

Thus I challenge the validity of mathematics.

Or something....

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.

by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 at 06:25:02 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Hey, hey, that's not fair! You need to invite Helen to post a rebuttal.

Those whom the Gods wish to destroy They first make mad. -- Euripides
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 04:11:02 AM EST
How would one go about writing a rebuttal to this?

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 05:35:43 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Maybe a retort, rather than a rebuttal.

Those whom the Gods wish to destroy They first make mad. -- Euripides
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 07:09:15 AM EST
[ Parent ]
That would require her being quick.  British wit is, I've found, overrated.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 02:14:35 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I appreciate the 4, Miguel, but you sold me out on the poll.  We are guys, and are, thus, by law, required to back each other up.  That's a cross-border and -ocean rule.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 02:19:58 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Bush's Mission Accomplished speech was on May 1, 2003. That was 1300 days ago, or 7.12 Friedmans. So I propose one new unit:

One Migeru = -7.12 Friedmans

Those whom the Gods wish to destroy They first make mad. -- Euripides

by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 04:16:23 AM EST
Well, okay, but you and I both opposed the war, so, really, our units are

1 Miguel = 1 Drew = -(infinity)Friedmans

So I suppose I must take back my challenge to mathematics, since we can, in fact, solve for Friedmans in this case.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.

by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 05:39:08 AM EST
[ Parent ]
So. What's happening in February 2012 that's so important?

Regards
Luke

-- #include witty_sig.h

by silburnl on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 05:44:03 AM EST
End of world.  

It's pronounced "ewww".  

Except that it's not.  Once again, they've got the timing wrong . . .  

The Fates are kind.

by Gaianne on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 08:28:33 AM EST
[ Parent ]
We all know the Mayans predicted peak oil would hit on the Winter Solstice of 2012, not in February.

Those whom the Gods wish to destroy They first make mad. -- Euripides
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 08:30:40 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Yes, but the Mayans had the timing slightly off, too, so it could conceivably take place in February of 2012.  Have we accidentally stumbled upon something?

Coincidence?  I think not, my friend.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.

by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 02:27:52 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Hey - when you count time by tying string, it gets a little fuzzy, you know. The universe is not lace - but er, oh, wait a minute - communication about String Theory coming in....

Yep, yep - the Ultimate Creator - according to you ladies - is Kaffe Fassett - and the basic equation of the cosmos is 'Knit One - PERL one'
Wow

You can't be me, I'm taken

by Sven Triloqvist on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 05:37:32 PM EST
[ Parent ]
No, on Winter Solstice, we save the World

"Dieu se rit des hommes qui se plaignent des conséquences alors qu'ils en chérissent les causes" Jacques-Bénigne Bossuet
by Melanchthon on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 06:13:12 PM EST
[ Parent ]
ah, there's nothing like the wet custard-in-a-sock splat as your heart meets cold reality following a fall from a great height occasioned by a leap of ego based on a false premise.

Could you care that much ? {hopeful grin}

Sadly no {disappointed sigh}

....distant wet splat....

oh.. well. slinks off into sunset. {sniff}

keep to the Fen Causeway

by Helen (lareinagal at yahoo dot co dot uk) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 10:31:10 AM EST
I thought this was going to be about beer, to be honest.

Those whom the Gods wish to destroy They first make mad. -- Euripides
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 10:35:56 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Christ, have I become that bad?

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 02:11:21 PM EST
[ Parent ]
No, but I am. Helen = beer

keep to the Fen Causeway
by Helen (lareinagal at yahoo dot co dot uk) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 03:19:53 PM EST
[ Parent ]
aaaawww...

there there, take a dram of cutty snark and sweat it out, you'll be your old self again in the morning!

as in: brilliant, incisive, illuminating...

'The history of public debt is full of irony. It rarely follows our ideas of order and justice.' Thomas Piketty

by melo (melometa4(at)gmail.com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 11:22:57 AM EST
[ Parent ]
You'll always be the one true Helen to me, babe.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 02:12:18 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I thought it was going to be about you, too, Helen. Something about what a wonderful person you were and all that.

Would have been nice. I'm disappointed.

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 04:12:00 PM EST
[ Parent ]
And you're worth much much more than 10,9 Friedmans...

"Dieu se rit des hommes qui se plaignent des conséquences alors qu'ils en chérissent les causes" Jacques-Bénigne Bossuet
by Melanchthon on Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 at 06:19:48 PM EST
[ Parent ]


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