Welcome to the new version of European Tribune. It's just a new layout, so everything should work as before - please report bugs here.

America's Favorite Smelly Ogre Loses Magic

by dood abides Sat May 19th, 2007 at 08:58:08 AM EST


Has the Republican Party's favorite smelly ogre lost his magic touch in his latest sequel?



Washington, DC (Rotters) - Critics are united over condemnation of the latest efforts from the smelly ogre that everyone loves to hate. "Karl the Turd" was released with all the fanfare that the Bush administration and its corporate sponsors could muster, but it's tried and true formulaic writing appears not to be resonating with the American public.


"Karl the Turd" offers up expanded roles and musical numbers for a couple of his sidekicks, Commander Guy, and Snowjob. Commander Guy is seen in the latest sequel playing bongos and dancing with an African troupe and attempting to conduct an orchestra. Snowjob gives a fairly credible acquittal of himself as a jazz flute player, but while musically solid, the performance comes across overall as a sad imitation of Will Ferrell's Ron Burgundy newscaster character. Karl, himself, even gets into the act with a highly panned rap number entitled "MC Rove". The combined result is a potpourri of amateurish drivel reminiscent of a "Little Rascals" barnyard talent show that leaves supporters and pundits alike stampeding for an exit strategy.

Much of the tried and true jingoistic monologues throughout the sequel are just not funny anymore. The Administration is reportedly attempting rewrites of the ongoing conflict in Iraq scene even as the latest version is released to the public this weekend. The Iraq scene alone, with its special effects, is reportedly well over budget at $300 billion dollars, and rumors are that congress may actually pull the plug on the whole production with a vote of no confidence on Monday for one of the sequel's main producers, Alberto Gonzales.

As "Karl the Turd" deconstructs in slow motion in national release this weekend, reports have surfaced over ongoing conflicts within the cast. Monica Goodling, who plays Karl's doting companion and fellow ogre Fiona, is scheduled to testify before congress this week under immunity over production shortcuts and kickbacks that she may have been forced to participate in.

"Karl the Turd" is in release nationwide, and is rated "M" for "Manure".

Display:


Dudehisattva...
"Generosity, Ethics, Patience, Effort, Concentration, and Wisdom"
by dood abides on Sat May 19th, 2007 at 08:58:35 AM EST
Love it.  Just fucking love it.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Mon May 21st, 2007 at 12:51:39 AM EST
[ Parent ]
So be it!!  Thank you dood.

Our knowledge has surpassed our wisdom. -Charu Saxena.
by metavision on Sun May 20th, 2007 at 12:46:39 PM EST
The dood still got the magic touch, I see!

...rated "M" for "Manure". ha ha!

NVA, a viable option when the political process fails.

by NorthDakotaDemocrat (NorthDakotaDemocrat at gmail dot com) on Sun May 20th, 2007 at 06:06:20 PM EST
..."'rated 'M' for 'Manure'."

Damn you, NDDem.  I nearly choked on my mouthful of beer laughing at that.  Love it.

Be nice to America. Or we'll bring democracy to your country.

by Drew J Jones (pedobear@pennstatefootball.com) on Mon May 21st, 2007 at 12:51:21 AM EST
[ Parent ]


Display:
Go to: [ European Tribune Homepage : Top of page : Top of comments ]