by Ted Welch
Tue Jan 15th, 2008 at 05:03:31 PM EST
Here are some attacks on religion by comedians, well worth half an hour. Please don't tell me that they won't persuade the religious to change their minds - they KNOW and THEY DON'T CARE. Because they so obviously don't care and are so rude on TV, they encourage the non-religious to be similarly disrespectful about absurdities and to stand up for their own views, as Dawkins and Hitchens do in their own ways. This is particularly worth encouraging in the bizarrely religious US and can help the recent growth in the numbers of the non-religious there (still a long way to go).
But anyway - I hope you find it amusing.
On The Lighter Side
This joke by Emo Phillips was voted by a jury of American comedians as #44 out of the "Best 75 Jokes Ever" in GQ Magazine. To do it justice, imagine the two participants becoming increasingly enthusiastic and animated as the conversation progresses. -- Richard Russell
I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on a ledge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
"Well, there's so much to live for." "Like what?"
"Well, are you religious?"
He said yes.
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist." "Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1789 or Reformed Baptist Church of God, 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."
I said, "Die, heretic scum!!" And pushed him off the bridge.
Ricky Gervais on Genesis:
There's a Time and Place for Skepticism
During the Reign of Terror of the French Revolution, one morning's executions began with three men: a rabbi, a Catholicpriest, and a rationalist skeptic.
The rabbi was marched up onto the platform first. There, facing the guillotine, he was asked if he had any last words. And the rabbi cried out, "I believe in the one and only true God, and He shall save me." The executioner then positioned the rabbi below the blade, set the block above his neck, and pulled the cord to set the terrible instrument in motion. The heavy cleaver plunged downward, searing the air. But then, abruptly, it stopped with a crack just a few inches above the would-be victim's neck. To which the rabbi said, "I told you so."
"It's a miracle!" gasped the crowd. And the executioner had to agree, letting the rabbi go.
Next in line was the priest. Asked for his final words, he declared, "I believe in Jesus Christ the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost who will rescue me in my hour of need." The executioner then positioned this man beneath the blade. And he pulled the cord. Again the blade flew downward thump! creak! ...stopping just short of its mark once more.
"Another miracle!" sighed the disappointed crowd. And the executioner for the second time had no choice but to let the condemned go free.
Now it was the skeptic's turn. "What final words have you to say?" he was asked. But the skeptic didn't hear. Staring intently at the ominous engine of death, he seemed lost. Not until the executioner poked him in the ribs and the question was asked again did he reply.
"Oh, I see your problem," the skeptic said pointing.
"You've got a blockage in the gear assembly, right there!"