European Tribune - Community, Politics & Progress.

This should be a post, not a diary

by redstar
Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 at 05:11:56 PM EST

But since it is apparently now ok to post blank diaries with diacritical marks for titles, I figured what the hell.

And in light of recent dust-ups on the nature of the world as viewed through here a scientist there a humanities lens, I figured it might be useful to examine just how different people from the variously hostile philosophical traditions really are. And what better way to examine this than by observing how each group confronts that very prosiac puzzle which is the changing of a lightbulb.

How many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to observe how the lightbulb symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of Cosmic Nothingness.

How many cartesian dualists does it take to change a light bulb?

I am not sure they actually can. I had 12 of them in here yesterday trying it, but even with all dozen of them standing on each other's shoulders, they STILL couldn't reach the light bulb.

How many particles does it take to change a light bulb?

On some days, none (e.g. fortuitous quantum fluctuation days)...

How many Quantum physicists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends on the room size--you need to fill the room first with blind-folded scientists. Then, upon a signal, they all remove the blindfolds and look toward the general area of the 'old' bulb. Then, when the waveform collapses, whoever is CLOSEST to the newly 'congealed' bulb, grabs it, and WITHOUT blinking, makes the change. Also, this procedure MAY required one additional physicist to remove a dead cat from the room

MEANT.
How many Derrida'ists THOUGHT YOU does
D
E
P
E
N
DS
it take on WhAt YoU
to change a light bulb?

How many Kuhnian constructionist philosophers of science does it take to change a light bulb?

You're still thinking in terms of 'incremental change'--what we really need is paradigm shift...we don't need a bulb with more attributes added on, we need ubiquitous luminescence.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Fish .

Add your own, if you feel like it, in the comments.

. Home
. About
. Contact
. New User Guide
. FAQ
. Search
. Search (Google)
. Archives (Wiki)
Art, Economics, Energy, Environment, EU Politics, Mech & Tech, By Country

Username:
Password:

. Make a new account
. Reset password

This should be a post, not a diary | 24 comments (24 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 9)

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. But don't ask me how they got in there...

"This is nothing compared to how Putin rigged Eurovision."

by poemless on Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 at 05:25:59 PM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 3)

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

I told Bush; don't play chess with the freakin' Russians.

by LEP (rafifoon@yahoo.com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 03:59:51 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post (4.00 / 3)

How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room spins.

Where's your motherf*%&ing flag pin?

by Drew J Jones (blahblahblah@blahblahblah.com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 06:38:33 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 5)

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. He holds it there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

;-D

by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 04:10:27 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 2)

Hey, there should be a separate diary for feminist light bulb jokes.

I told Bush; don't play chess with the freakin' Russians.

by LEP (rafifoon@yahoo.com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 06:58:37 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 3)

If it makes you feel any better, the lightbulb joke for actresses has the same punchline.

"You can't be a successful crook with a dishonest face, now, can you?" -The Fourth Doctor

by lychee (lychee9393 A yahoo D com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 07:16:37 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (none / 1)

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Feminists don't screw.

"C'est un scandale !"

by redstar on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 08:34:00 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 4)

I beg to disagree, based on empirical knowledge...

"Ne te courbe que pour aimer..." René Char

by Melanchthon on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 08:41:55 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 5)

In fact, I do too. Actually, a lot better than the rest.

I'm just mouthing the words to the joke I heard...

"C'est un scandale !"

by redstar on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 08:44:04 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (none / 1)

Feminists don't mince words; they fuck.

I told Bush; don't play chess with the freakin' Russians.

by LEP (rafifoon@yahoo.com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 08:52:20 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 9)

How many conservatives doe it take to change a light bulb?
"What to you mean CHANGE?"

Vote McCain for war without gain

by Frank Schnittger (mail Frankschnittger at hot dotty communists) on Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 at 05:28:42 PM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 6)

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb must really want to change.

We are for Justice and Mercy, and Truth and Peace, and true Freedom. Edward Burroughs 1659

by edwin on Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 at 08:24:43 PM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 8)

Somewhere in my files I have over 750 lightbulb jokes.

Don't Make Me Go There.

How many Dadaists doesn't it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to find the giraffe and two to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

Och nu den svenska kocken bakar en Alaskan älg jägare. Bork! Bork! Bork!

by ATinNM on Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 at 08:31:16 PM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 4)

How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Every light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 03:47:20 AM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 3)

How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.

I told Bush; don't play chess with the freakin' Russians.

by LEP (rafifoon@yahoo.com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 03:56:43 AM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 5)

How many Bush Administration economists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The darkness will cause the lightbulb to change on its own.

by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 04:12:45 AM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 11)

How many ETers does it take to change a light bulb?

We don't know. First we have to be sure the light bulb needs changing. Then we have to decide what features the bulb should have, and how it looks both dark and lit. We should then be able to decide how to change it, and what the design process should be, and whether just anyone can change a bulb or not. When to change it has also become an area of concern, because some of us have been busy changing other bulbs.

But we're working on it.

Skennah Kowa

by Crazy Horse on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 04:38:42 AM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 8)

What do you mean by "light bulb"?

by Colman (colman at eurotrib.com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 04:41:10 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 7)

Define "mean".

When locusts move on, they leave nothing behind

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 04:57:43 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 7)

Define "define".

"The basis of optimism is sheer terror" - Oscar Wilde

by NordicStorm on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 05:25:20 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 3)

can the light bulb as object be defined at a distance from the subject which screws it?

Vote McCain for war without gain

by Frank Schnittger (mail Frankschnittger at hot dotty communists) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 07:49:10 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 4)

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

50. One to change it and another 49 to say, "I could have done that better."

"You can't be a successful crook with a dishonest face, now, can you?" -The Fourth Doctor

by lychee (lychee9393 A yahoo D com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 04:46:56 AM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 2)

How many Hollanders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They prefer darkness over spending money on electricity.

by Nomad on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 06:47:12 AM EST

Re: This should be a post, not a diary (4.00 / 3)

This diary is SO good on so many levels that I will comment on only one.

Vocabulary. God, I LOVE ET for its vocabulary alone.

"diacritical" ??? Now WTF does that mean? When I get up in the early AM to do the Salon section I always know to open up a second window at dictionary.com because I know I'll need it. Don't find the same need at other sites.

Most of my "vocabulary learning" came from high school ... late '60s. I miss it.

ET ... THANK YOU for the ongoing vocab lesson. It IS appreciated

McCain/Palin ... total sacks of SHIT!

by THE Twank (paszeski__aaaaaaatttttt__yahoo.com) on Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 09:20:15 AM EST

This should be a post, not a diary | 24 comments (24 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

Go to: [ European Tribune Homepage : Top of page : Top of comments ]