Each team consists of one left and one right Inside Grouch, one left and one right Outside Grouch, four Deep Brooders, four Shallow Brooders, five Wicket Men, three Offensive Niblings, four Quarter-Frummerts, two Half-Frummerts, one Full-Frummert, two Overblats, two Underblats, nine Back-Up Finks, two Leapers and a Dummy -- for a total of 43.

The game officials are a Probate Judge (dressed as a British judge, with wig), a Field Representative (in a Scottish kilt), a Head Cockswain (in long overcoat), and a Baggage Smasher (dressed as a male beachgoer in pre-World War I years). None has any authority after play has begun.

Squamish is played on a pentagonal field, or Flutney, and the game is normally played within seven 15-minute Ogres, or eight if it's raining.

Equipment

    * An Official Pritz (or ball) is 3-3/4 inches in diameter. It is constructed from untreated Ibex hide, and is stuffed with Blue Jay feathers.

    * Each player is equipped with a Frullip, a long hooked stick very similar in appearance to a shepherd's crook. It is used to prevent opposing players from scoring with the Pritz.

    * Gloves, a helmet, and flippers are also required in an official Squamish game. Any extra padding is suggested, but optional.

Gameplay

Before any game, the Probate Judge must first flip a coin, usually a used [originally new] Spanish peseta, while the Visiting Captain guesses the toss. If he guesses correctly, the game is canceled immediately. If not, the Home Team Captain must then decide if he wishes to play offense or defense first. Play begins after a frullip is touched to the flutney and the recitation "My uncle is sick but the highway is green!" is intoned in Spanish. Penalties are applied for infractions such as walling the Pritz, icing on fifth snivel, running with the mob, rushing the season, inability to face facts, and sending the Dummy home early.

The teams are to play a sudden-death overtime to break a tie, unless both Left Overblats are out of the game on personal fouls. If this is the case, the tie is settled by the teams lining up on opposite sides of the flutney (inherently difficult on a pentagonal shape) and shouting dirty limericks at each other until one side breaks up laughing.