Dom Lolcat, a content espionage thief and his gang, delve deep into user-driven anthropomorphism, dynamically juxtaposed with speech bubbles, in search of of the vital serum of cyutnes. Unable to communicate with his children, Lolcat can regain their respect if he fulfills this impossible task.

You can't be me, I'm taken

Two inveterate punsters, ceebs and sven, await the imminent arrival of DVDs that will disprove the visions of the six-year old wind-mad vunderkind of Bremen.

You can't be me, I'm taken

Whistle Down The Windmill

Highrise heroics as moderate North Sea breezes cut communications on a windfarm construction site, forcing foreman Jerome to improvise by calling for help from the lads below by whistling quite hard.

some of the better ones ive seen have been

101 Dalmations (binary edition)

The Sound of Musak

chitty bang

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

A Song of Cold and Warm Water - About the peaceful industrialisation of a medieval/fantasy setting, ruled by a just and noble king supported by loyal aristocrats with a strong sense of noblesse oblige.

Sand - How the democratic and egalitarian galactic empire cooperates with an indigenous people to ensure the sustainable extraction of a valuable commodity from a desert planet.

Fall Inn - With the threat of nuclear Armageddon receding into faint memory, the government of the United States of America decides to refurbish the ancient Vaults as tourist resorts.

- Jake

If you only spend 20 minutes of the rest of your life on economics, go spend them here.

Asteroid Scuffles
Mild political fisticuffs with religious overtones in space, not very far away at all. Not suitable for children.

Ron
When high-flying janitor Derek gets sucked into a virtual world of day-glo cubicles and killer nerf ball inside an early military digital watch project, hijinks ensue. Can he escape and warn the world about a deadly new year calendar bug before he runs out of time - literally?

Muffy the Vampire Kicker
Pretty blonde Muffy sees vampires wherever she goes. But they run away when she tortures them with street slang and kicks them in the shins. With a musical score by Mozart's ghost, phoned in to Burbank during a special seance.

Pond Scum Marmosets
Glamorous ultra-violence as a hit squad of chattering wide-eyed micro-primates tours the streets of LA after zoo keepers bust a banana-heist. Does one of them have a dark secret? Or perhaps a cheeseburger?  

Ascending to the British throne as Wills 1, the new king makes the first official appointment of a court jester since AD 763, bringing in Cheech Marin, the aging US doper comedian, to help him become more laid back, and reach sustainable insanity.  With just 3 weeks before King Wills 1 speech at the opening of the 2012 London Olympics, the doper and the dope battle for time and Kate.

You can't be me, I'm taken

Gone With the Schwinn

The epic story of a price war between two bicycle messaging companies in San Francisco.

Chef Strangelove or How I Learned to Love the Bombe

Black humor look at the frozen confections industry.

 

Ever since I learnt about confirmation bias I've started seeing it everywhere

Cost-cutting at a major plane manufacturer causes jetliners to drop out of the skies and employs thousands in CGI.

You can't be me, I'm taken

Acquire, the Wrath of Greed

Documentary about frustrations of daily life in an estate agent's office during the financial crisis

Well Street

Drama about a group of healthy people who like each other

Bleed Funnier

A feminist comedian reflects on monthly events

Citizen Keen

Tory party promo for the Big Society

A Farce in the Cowed

The tragedy of the Thatcher years repeated as voters let the Tories back in

8 3/4  

Uninspired director reflects on the last 8 3/4 minutes

Farewell my Cucumber

Bored wife welcomes back husband from business trip

The Good Sellers

Review of last year's worst films

The God, the ipod and the Stragglers

Steve Jobs gets mildly irritated about latecomers to ipod launch

An Easy Night's Pay

Study of security at a pacifists' party

Invitation of the Body Matchers

Party for extremely average people

His Girl Saturday

Weekend relaxation of tired reporting couple

It's a Wonderful Leaf

Home movies of a horticulturalist

Man With a Moody Comrade

Study of a sad soviet man and his sullen friend

Raping Ball

The next production of the people who brought you Springtime for Hitler

Schindler's Lisp

How shyness about a disability did not lead to heroic acts

A Streetcar named - "streetcar"

(and my own favourite, helps if you know the director as well as the film)

Whims of Desire

Sexual fantasies for people who don't really care

Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner - that I moved to Nice.

"Saturday night beaver."

Hey, Grandma Moses started late!

Schindler's lift

The rise and fall in an elevator and escalator business.

Transformers

A current story about the little warts that fill our lives through to the great coiled energies that power society.

The chronic ails of a narn eater

Children spend time in a closet eating indian breads.

The Godfather

  -- A man watches the young daughter of one of his best friends learn to eat with utensils.

Much Ado About Nothing

  -- A group of screenwriters attempt to write some stuff.

All the Queen's Men

  -- Proust's wife reminisces.

Ulysses

  -- A Greek writer tries to get a table in Dublin.

Spartacus

  -- a group of people with the same name discuss life.

Dances with Kelps

  -- A soldier gets entangled in a strange species.

Rear Window

  --  some architects discuss ways to enhance the view from a cramped apartment.

My Dinner With Sven

  --  Some people decide to eat and drink between saunas. They get lost on a website.

(notice i changed one of the rules sometimes.)

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anaïs Nin

Purgatory's gate

The man who bumped into Liberty Valance

Lukewarm Mountain

Three Days of the Pigeon

"People only accept change when they are faced with necessity, and only recognize necessity when a crisis is upon them." - Jean Monnet

A Streetcar Named Perspire
    A documentary of a typical day on a New Orleans streetcar.

The Lapcat in Winter
    A house cat sleeps on the couch through the cold months.

The Black Duck
    A dancer in New York City sits by a pond in Central Park and fantasizes about eating a real meal.

How to Train Your Hamster
    A boy in Iceland tries to distract himself from the financial collapse by teaching his pet hamster how to use its exercise wheel, but the similarity to the life he has to look forward to just depresses him.

Harvey the Milkman

Into the Wold
An adventurous young man flees society and ends up living in an abandoned bus in the Cotswolds, hunting hedgehogs for food. He's still there thirty years later, as the winters aren't all that severe.


_{It is rightly acknowledged that people of faith have no monopoly of virtue - Queen Elizabeth II}

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Fry Harder
Bruce Willis as a rogue short-order cook in a race against time to beat the nefarious Lunchrush.

On Her Majesty's Postal Service
Dashing postal agent with licence to cancel delivers glamorous letters from all over the world.

Vicky, Christine, Wilkes-Barre
Two beautiful young women from New York arrive in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania to spend the summer and change their mind.

And in the TV realm:

23.95
Starring Kiefer Sutherland. An elite government father of two children tries desperately to obtain the year's hottest game at a special low price while supplies last - on Black Friday. (Caution: features depictions of torture; viewer discretion advised.)

The fact is that what we're experiencing right now is a top-down disaster. -Paul Krugman

My Mate's Mandolin
Young lad buys a mandolin for £3 on the market and never learns how to play it.

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E.T.

Alien bloggers in their pyjamas make up puns on the Internet.

I'm heartened by these contributions.

You can't be me, I'm taken

2001: A Space Odyssey

No need to change anything. Making a movie with this title today would be like Kubrick making "1958: A Space Odyssey".

Bunting Season

A family looks forward to Christmas as they hold their annual gathering to put the decorations up.

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Robin's Hood

A young boy loses his zip-on coat hood in the school playground and is sent back by his irate mother to retrieve it.

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House gust can't sleep because of his host's noisy bird.
Warning: ending is gruesome. (Rated R)

Hey, Grandma Moses started late!

And who could forget

Hackerberry Finn

The stirring adventures of a plucky young boy who spends all this time on Reddit.

The fact is that what we're experiencing right now is a top-down disaster. -Paul Krugman

Jaws

A disturbing thriller about a neurotic dentist getting overfraught with his work - leading to unpleasant results. Also starring Richard Kiel.

Alice in Disneyland

Alice goes to Disneyland and trips over on a hole in pavement.

The Tourist
A fat middle-aged Brit visits Rome, walks around with the lens cap hanging off his middle range DSLR that he doesn't know how to use and refuses to eat anything but burgers and chips.

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I do hope everyone is working on at least one script !

Actually, I've been working on a book, which I know will be a best seller, and would make a superb movie about a young man with a secret hidden palate, who goes on a quest for a forbidden herb, guarded by a beautiful dragon, in a cave, a necessary ingredient for the stew which will save the ailing prince from the strange addiction which prevents him from being qualified for the throne.

I call it Harry Potter and the Secret Ingredient

For the space opera buffs:

Armajedi

Bruce Willis, Mark Hamill, Carey Fisher and Steve Buscemi can't decide which movie they're supposed to be filming.

The fact is that what we're experiencing right now is a top-down disaster. -Paul Krugman

Sorry, I almost forgot:

Eat Pay Less

Julia Roberts finds this totally inexpensive little restaurant.

The fact is that what we're experiencing right now is a top-down disaster. -Paul Krugman

Four Blind Dates and a Walk through the Cemetery.

Cranespotting - heroin addicts control their habits through birdwatching.

The Next-to-Last Emperor

A Raisin in the Shade

To Sir with Fondness

An Okay Guy in Africa

Karen in Bischofswiesen

'tis strange I should be old and neither wise nor valiant. From "The Maid's Tragedy" by Beaumont & Fletcher

The Array (One-dimensional spin-off of The Matrix)

TROFF: Legacy (If you get this one, Dijkstra thinks you're beyond redemption)

Harry Potter and the Guy whose Grandmother Might Have had a Cousin Twice Removed that Possibly Could Have Been Related to Royalty

The Texas Chainsaw Quibble

Taxi Passenger

Brokeback Knoll

Schindler and Kumar Go to White Castle

"The basis of optimism is sheer terror" - Oscar Wilde

The Train Travelers Wife - Due to possession of a monthly railpass, Henry DeTamble voluntarily zips through space, appearing in the life of his wife at 6:48pm on weekdays, unless there is a delay due to trackwork.

I've been accused of being a Marxist, yet while Harpo's my favourite, it's Groucho I'm always quoting. Odd, that.

someone has been making some ambitious movies.

Too many to choose from. Go visit.

_{It is rightly acknowledged that people of faith have no monopoly of virtue - Queen Elizabeth II}