by Frank Schnittger
Thu Oct 4th, 2012 at 05:14:27 PM EST
I have a plan. It has five points that are no more than aspirational bullet points and a few numbers that I never bother to add up or connect to one another. It says more or less what I say it says when it suits me to say something I want to say. One day it provides tax breaks for the wealthy, and the next day it does no such thing. One day it covers pre-existing conditions, and another day it doesn't. Sometime my plan includes 716 Billion in cuts to Medicare costs, and sometimes it doesn't. But mostly I just criticize the President for including it in his plan anyway.
But the real beauty of my plan is that it confused the hell out of the President in our debate. He didn't seem to realize how flexible my plan is. And anyway, since it is MY plan, who are the viewers going to believe knows more about it? ME or the President?
In a way it is a Creationist plan. It is going to create wealth because I say it is. And the more wealth it creates the bigger the chance that the numbers will turn out all right anyway. Never mind that it's all been tried before - particularly by President W Bush. (His father decried it as voodoo economics when Reagan tried the same thing). Never mind that it led to a great crash. Our people did alright by that, and capitalism is all about creative destruction.
But the main thing is my plan includes all the right buzzwords and sound-bites about FREEDOM, ENTERPRISE INNOVATION, EDUCATION, and MARKETS and it criticizes TAXES, GOVERNMENT, RED TAPE, ENTITLEMENTS, DEFICITS, DEPENDENCY, BUREAUCRATS and SOCIALISM. That's all that people really need to know. I am on the side of the angels, and that Obama guy is to blame for all our problems.
It's a beautiful plan really, and if it gets me elected, it will have fulfilled its primary purpose, and I can throw it into the kids homework and see if they can figure it out. It's so vague anyway, no one will be able to prove I didn't keep my word. And that Obama guy? He can go back to college where he belongs. If you can't make your own facts, you have no right to be President.