Oh heaven. I don't know where to start. So, you wanted to go to "Holland" (I sincerely hope you meant Les Pays-Bas, my friend?), crashed through Belgium and ended up in Maastricht (which is not even close to Holland, and Limbrug is considered to be the strangest duck in the pond of Dutch provinces...)

I just will forgive you for being drunk/stoned/both for making these mistakes, but otherwise I will have to come to Toulouse and kick your geographic bum.

But all in all, you sound like a guy to be fun to be around with... Adventures just seem to pop up around you.