In a college class long ago the word harrass somehow came up in the conversation.  For reasons that escape me now, the conversation took a detour into the proper pronunciation of the word.  The prof claimed the proper pronunciation would obviously be harris.  I quicky replied that I always thought it looked like her ass.  For about four heartbeats the silence was deafening.

Some years ago my work took me into a particular electrical supply store fairly often.  The young woman behind the counter was attractive and personable but, shall we say, a bit on the pudgy side.  One day I went in the store for the first time after an absense of a couple of months.  I almost didn't recognize the young woman.  She had dropped a LOT of weight.  She looked positively svelt.  I looked at her with some concern and asked, "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight.  Have you been sick?"  She didn't answer and the look she gave me didn't invite any further conversation. Later a colleague told me she had just gone through one of those expensive, doctor supervised weight loss programs.

My wife says I have chronic foot in mouth disease.

We all bleed the same color.