Redoing ET's front page | 145 comments (145 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)

"Amateur" has a strong negative connotation. "Expert and Informed" says it all, or enough.

And you ain't got no main verb in the first sentence. ;-)

c/b: thinking, writing, reasoning ...?

Second sentence: Why add the "many" to "vital?" "many vital issues" is weaker than "vital issues."

"appear on the media radar" -- c/b: become common knowledge, become common problems, hit the mainstream, become common concern, hit the front page, go prime time, come to common awareness, sit in your living room, scream for attention, demand action, demand attention, require action/attention, become total fucking & flaming disasters, plug your toilets.

(Ok, those last 2 are silly.)

She believed in nothing; only her skepticism kept her from being an atheist. -- Jean-Paul Sartre

by ATinNM on Mon Dec 31st, 2007 at 12:35:07 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: First draft (none / 0)

Since people don't like "expert", just say "informed" instead of "expert and informed amateur".

We have met the enemy, and he is us — Pogo

by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Mon Dec 31st, 2007 at 12:57:30 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: First draft (none / 1)

'Expert' describes several regular diiarists, albeit in many different areas. It is not boasting. For journalists - at whom it is aimed - expert v informed is an important distinction.

I would also like to see photographs of series diarists (the key archives for journalists) that, without using names or other identifiable detail, include an short outline of their qualifications.

You can't be me, I'm taken

by Sven Triloqvist on Mon Dec 31st, 2007 at 01:27:18 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: First draft (none / 0)

I don't write on the topics on which I am "qualified" to write. Maybe I'm alone in that, I don't know.

We have met the enemy, and he is us — Pogo

by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Mon Dec 31st, 2007 at 02:32:28 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: First draft (none / 0)

Restricting our writings to topics in which we are "qualified" -- receiving the USDA Stamp of Approval from an institution of higher learning - would quickly grind ET to a halt.

She believed in nothing; only her skepticism kept her from being an atheist. -- Jean-Paul Sartre

by ATinNM on Mon Dec 31st, 2007 at 04:26:59 PM EST
[ Parent ]

"on which I am 'qualified' to write" (none / 0)

He meant competent, not certified.

The Fates are kind.

by Gaianne on Fri Jan 4th, 2008 at 05:40:30 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: First draft (none / 0)

I was writing it for media people. Dropping verbs is common practice in corporate pithiness.

You can't be me, I'm taken

by Sven Triloqvist on Mon Dec 31st, 2007 at 01:28:59 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: First draft (none / 0)

You're the Pro from Dover. Just my 2 cents.

She believed in nothing; only her skepticism kept her from being an atheist. -- Jean-Paul Sartre

by ATinNM on Mon Dec 31st, 2007 at 01:40:25 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: First draft (4.00 / 2)

No, it is important to get input, but in the end it shouldn't be too compromised. The only way to really know if it works is to test, get feedback from the intended audience etc. We often fine tune stuff in different iterations of websites etc on that basis. As I often point out to corporate execs - don't give me a personal opinion because you are not the intended audience. "Your personal reaction is unimportant, except in determining the honesty of the statement - in which you are expert"

You can't be me, I'm taken

by Sven Triloqvist on Mon Dec 31st, 2007 at 02:53:10 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Use a verb (none / 0)

to induce an action. The verb should be in the imperative tense.

This is silly (also manipulative), but it works, even on people who should see through it.

The Fates are kind.

by Gaianne on Fri Jan 4th, 2008 at 05:43:53 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Use a verb (none / 0)

The most common use of this grammatical device is in corporate slogans eg 'Connecting people' (Nokia), but it is spreading out into ad copy headlines. To me it is the normal evolution of living language. Thou understandeth?

You can't be me, I'm taken

by Sven Triloqvist on Sat Jan 5th, 2008 at 07:17:27 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Redoing ET's front page | 145 comments (145 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

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