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Just a few quick reactions...

Needs a little cleaning up, a few typos ("I am writing" sted "I a mwriting" and "workers, especially middle-class ones," sted "workers, especially middle calss ones") and one or two grammatical issues (should be "for the price of not letting the very rich GET even more...").

I think the LTE page is unlikely to actually publish a graph.  Maybe I'm wrong, but most papers wouldn't.  In an op-ed column, you might have better luck with that, but even then it would be rare.  So you may want to summarize what the graph says in a brief sentence, e.g. "As was shown in the FT's own story TITLE, published DATE, blah de blah de blah..."

This final section isn't really working for me at all:

... can lead to very different conclusions, if one chooses to do so. I wonder why that choice is so rarely made (the choice to worry about lack of healthcare coverage instead of the fact that 'too few' seniors work), and I would hope that voices carrying that choice could be heard more frequently in the FT.

I would prefer "can lead to very different conclusions."  Period.  But then your "choice" wording really doesn't work, which I'm not sure it does anyway.  The parenthetical statement is unclear and distracting in that position -- it should be made earlier.

I'd recommend some reworking of that paragraph.  I'll see what I can come up with, but in the meantime I thought I'd toss these other things out there.

by the stormy present (stormypresent aaaaaaat gmail etc) on Mon Apr 16th, 2007 at 08:18:55 AM EST
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