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*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.
by DoDo on Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 at 01:00:40 PM EST
[ Parent ]
You got a santa claus joke?

How about this one?

One day the elves were working, and as we all know it is a cooperative, Santa pays all elves equally and no elf is less than Santa.  Santa is the PR guy, the one who'll flog your CD in the marketplace, he'll get out there and sell your idea.  But without the elves....there would be no toys.

So Santa takes mushrooms.  In fact, Santa decides to munch down some amanitas.  Fly agaric.

For Santa has no fear of psychotropic drugs.  He has taken many, and from an early age.  

He first took mushrooms when he was fifteen.  He found them very useful.

The whole "North Pole" project runs under the aegis of a Chris Cook inspired LLP.

But the thing, thinks Santa, is that I'm running at a loss.  These modern parents, they want to give their little ones everything.  I can't compete.  I only have a limited number of presents to offer.

So what I need is some wow factor, some element that the others don't have.

BUT...he thinks.  The kids aren't the problem.

It's the adults.

They know I don't exist--that I am them and so they have to be me.

So a joke about the size of my ball sack...it's funny, right? It's humorous...because Santa comes but once a year.

This evening, down the pub, a friend was talking about social space--how pandas and leopards need large territories and so they have a problem finding mates.

Turns out there's a fish that lives 2000m below the waves.  This fish, the female version I mean, needs males.  So what does it do?

It has an opening in its siat ide.  When it finds a male, the male buries its head in the side of the female.  It burrows into this gap.  

And over time, the female absorbs the male's head.  It is left with a sack of sperm.

But santa comes but once a year!

Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 at 07:32:05 PM EST
[ Parent ]


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