Welcome to European Tribune. It's gone a bit quiet around here these days, but it's still going.
Frank... I've read your diary twice now. I'm still rather lost for words to express what your piece has channelled for me.

Four years ago, I lost my father, after a year long fight with lung cancer and brain metastasis. The second I got the news about the cancer, I knew my life was irrevocably going to change, even while I would deny it to myself until that final, decisive phone call on an early Saturday morning. My life and the person who I am have not been the same ever since.

Every death is unique - but those touched by death are not left the same. Those touched by death also cross a boundary. Of all my friends, there was only one with whom I could truly connect, share the words and silences that I needed. Because he had lost his father when he was 16 years old - a senseless, out of the blue death. He knew. Those not closely touched by death can not comprehend. They cannot, and it's their blessing. Similarly, this friend's mother and my mother have grown very close as well.

Perhaps I am just trying to say that, exactly because you're to address this at such a deeply personal level, you've written what everyone also bereaved will immediately know, understand and feel.

Thank you.

by Nomad on Sat Mar 1st, 2008 at 10:01:07 AM EST
I think I'm probably a little bit older than most here, so I've been through this mill a number of times.  Both Muriel's and my families went through a very bad patch with a lot of people dying from cancer etc.  When my father was on his last legs I was expecting a call any time.  I was working and staying in a hotel in London at the time when a call came to my hotel room from my brother very early in the morning.  You can imagine my shock when he told me that he had very bad news, and it was not about my father.  My oldest brother had died from a severe asthma attack - asthma of all things.  What made it worse was that his daughter, my God child, and a trained swimming coach/life saver was alone with him at the time, and she couldn't save him.  There is not a lot you can say to her after that.

"It's a mystery to me - the game commences, For the usual fee - plus expenses, Confidential information - it's in my diary..."
by Frank Schnittger (mail Frankschnittger at hot male dotty communists) on Sat Mar 1st, 2008 at 10:54:43 AM EST
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