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I agree with everyone else, so I won't repeat. I just have one suggestion: that you give a little thought to this:

people who have lost someone they had a bad relationship with and about whom they felt guilty in any case

It's not that there's no truth there, on the contrary. But I'm trying to imagine myself saying that to a group of bereaved persons and not being sure whom I might be hitting hard without meaning to. And perhaps then finding myself acting as a lightning rod. I suppose I'm thinking that it's a bit close to group therapy, and that's not what you're setting out to do.

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Sat Mar 1st, 2008 at 03:08:40 PM EST
Fair comment.  Dodgy  one that. I was just trying to make the point that even having had a very positive relationship with someone - who even had a very positive attitude towards confronting the issues of impending death - doesn't render you immune from feeling very bad about what happened and how it happened;  That just because you feel very guilty doesn't mean you have any reason to be.  I toyed with the idea of introducing the notion of survivor guilt, but that runs the risk of trivialising the whole thing because it is often used in a humourous context.

I'll try and find a more positive way of saying it.  I can only imagine what its like to lose someone because of crime, negligence, suicide, or if you had just had a major row with them.  A friend of a friend hung herself after a nasty family row.  I can't imagine how that family could ever recover.

"It's a mystery to me - the game commences, For the usual fee - plus expenses, Confidential information - it's in my diary..."

by Frank Schnittger (mail Frankschnittger at hot male dotty communists) on Sat Mar 1st, 2008 at 03:22:34 PM EST
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