Welcome to European Tribune. It's gone a bit quiet around here these days, but it's still going.
I'm forwarding the link to a friend who lost her mother from cancer about a year ago now, in the hope that she will send it on to her stepdad.  He's been through a lot of the same pattern -- the blessed denial that kept him functional during her final illness, the guilt and overwhelming grief after her death, and so on.  I think it might help him somehow.

I only wish that Ingrid (the lost mum) had been able to have her wish to stay out of the hospital;  but her pain at the end was so severe that treatments which were legal at home were no longer effective (don't get me started on US drug policy) and she had to be rehospitalised to get adequate pain mitigation.  She died of heart attack while in drug-induced coma, basically;  possibly the best ending that could have been hoped for, but I wish she had been spared that last ambulance ride...

The difference between theory and practise in practise ...

by DeAnander (de_at_daclarke_dot_org) on Sun Mar 2nd, 2008 at 09:58:25 PM EST
Glad if it can help in any way.  Yep - our house began to resemble a pharmacy with OxyContin and other controlled drugs required to control the pain and nausea.  I have to say I cannot fault the much maligned Irish health service in any way, but we were helped by having medical specialists in the family who knew how to work the system.  But the key thing was that Muriel dealt with her disease on her own terms - medics were there to help, but not to control.  I hope I don't have to go through what she went through, but I'm damn sure I will do it on my own terms when the time comes.

"It's a mystery to me - the game commences, For the usual fee - plus expenses, Confidential information - it's in my diary..."
by Frank Schnittger (mail Frankschnittger at hot male dotty communists) on Mon Mar 3rd, 2008 at 03:45:29 AM EST
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