I expected something black, and round, and ominously designed with disco glitter.

shame our on-site reporter hasn't mentioned the glitterball in the control room.

(As for the end of the world doommongering, i'd only worry if cern had a shark tank or pirhanna pool) ;-)

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

No no, a big wood and metal relay switch, that is heroically pulled down by a scientist in a long white lab coat, goggles, and wild gray hair.  Preferably there will be a strong breeze, making his coat flutter in the wind.

That's SCIENCE!