Well, I suppose part of that is due to a co-worker of mine who often, and loudly, grips about how moving here was the worst decision of his life, etc. etc. etc.

That's not really the thing, I'm just feeling now that I'm kind of tired with living here for the moment, though prospects elsewhere don't look very good.  My desire to leave Japan is more emotional than rational.

But I suppose that was one of the spurs to writing this diary.  I am at a job that may well be my lifetime earnings peak, and I don't hate it.  I don't like it very much either, though, and it's never going to get any better nor will the pay ever rise.  It may also collapse on its own in the next year or two.  But, should I return to the US, I may well enjoy a year or two of unemployment/marginal employment before I get a job half as livable as this.  That is a path with risks and rewards all its own, and my employment situation may not be nearly as dire as I fear.  However, there is a strong chance that moving back like that would put me in the situation of reaching 40 without a dime in the bank.

So, I get to thinking about it, and really can't make up my mind about how much that really matters.  Obviously my decision about staying or going depends on many things much more personal and better known that the fate of the global capitalist system.  However, those are things I need to figure out on my own.  ET is a wonderful place for talking about doom and all, and so I posted the diary with that as the main angle.

And given the discussion provoked, and the many comments on the diary, it seems to have been a good choice.  Thanks all for contributing, and for giving me an idea for a diary on a related topic, regarding the intersection of the personal and the political in terms of the larger macro-economic forces at work in the world today.

My answer to you is largely in the above answer to Marco's comment.  But yeah, it's complicated - but a doom-focused approach to the situation seemed a better fit to ET than a personal psychology one.  And I'm much clearer about my doom anxieties than I am about my other psychology problems. :-)

Oh, and another angle on that comment.  Should global civilization collapse, Japan seems like it would be in a bit of a quandary.  On the one hand, its present population is simply not sustainable from local production, especially given the global collapse of world fisheries underway.  On the other hand, the Japanese government has been FAR more forward looking, and willing to adapt to obvious problems facing it on the level of macro-economic structure, than has that of the USA.  So, it has its strengths and weaknesses a collapse scenario.

However, as much as they like foreigners now, I wonder how that would change, or not, should things turn ugly.  I also wonder what the heck I'd end up doing, once teaching English/teaching in English is no longer a viable option.

So yeah, I guess doom anxieties play a bit of role in this decision as well, though as with savings, I can't really make up my mind.