I was telling the story at my friends funeral of the night he tried, under the influence of much beer and smokeables to steal a train. After the line had shut down for the night, because he had missed the last train and  thought it best that he had a vehicle that you didn't need to steer to attempt to go home in.

The local police found him in the cab, attempting to find the starter, and having persuaded him outside, gave him a lift home so he didn't try to steal it again once they had gone.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.