Welcome to European Tribune. It's gone a bit quiet around here these days, but it's still going.
"I think the order that may come out of chaos is self-chosen ... I'm not sure it gets us nearer to "truth"."

The order that may come out of chaos is self-chosen since we are free-willed humans. I'd like to explain what I mean by "nearer to truth", or to some absolute Truth.

There exists some evidence-based truth in every crime - who did what and why? Some truths can be found in nature, and we can prove them. The truth about the existence of God or his nature or our relationship to him IF cannot be proved in the same way. It can be experienced even though we cannot see him.

The truth about our relationships with other people is not much better, evidence-wise, even though we see each other, communicate, make promises and experience things together.

Let's take Claudio from Italy as an example. He's 40 years old and lives happily with his Mamma, Giulia, under the same roof. His father died when he was only 15, and he helped his mother over the loss and supported her. Out of this, the two of them became interdependent. Giulia cannot imagine life without her dear Claudio anymore, and Claudio had thought of moving away earlier but life as it is, is comfortable. He doesn't have to worry about being served a meal or shelter, and he knows that children are expected to honour their parents. Giulia's friends are jealous of her because she has this grateful son while theirs just do as they please and don't care about their poor parents. Claudio is sometimes sad. He would like to have a family of his own, and above all, a woman to himself but how -. He quickly numbs his wish since he knows how impossible and selfish his thoughts are. -

Some may say, the two should not be disturbed in their happiness. Mother and son chose to live that way.

Some others may say, "It is terrible to see this!" - He must take on some responsibility on his own. Giulia has no right to abuse of her son's goodness; she should let go and encourage him to leave.

No matter what other people may think or say, or whether they might want to take drastic measures and pull Claudio by his hair and away from his Mamma, - he will remain indebted and attached to her, unless he'd be able to see his reality in a new light and become aware of his trap. If He understands that his symbiotic relationship with his mother is unhealthful and that is should not be confused with "honouring" one's parents, he may wish to step out of his mother's shadow.

Let's say this inner transformation happens. It just happens. There may be many reasons. Maybe Claudio's suffering becomes almost unbearable, and he begins to understand and to see more clearly in his pain, and once he has begun to see, he cannot deny any longer what he has seen, and he will take a closer look, and another one, dig deeper, and - ouch! - it might be painful to look into the mirror, saying to himself, "What have I been doing all this time? - No! I don't want this. I don't have to go on like this." - And he may be relieved because he understands that he "is free" to leave and may still love his Mamma although he might also be angry at her or saddened. No matter what, he knows, he will leave but the following days, he has doubts. Life won't be as comfortable anymore as it used to be.
By then, it will be too late, however. He stopped looking away, and this is how he began his journey - towards "truth". No one will be able to judge whether what he will be doing will be any "truer" than the former relationship between mother and son. It was a convenient reality, and both may have thought themselves "happy" in it.

Claudio may be the first to know that this happiness had been based on a lie - that said he had to give himself up for his dear mother - and he will not want to remain in it anymore. It will be painful to change, both for Giulia and for Claudio but he WILL KNOW that by stepping out of his mother's protection, he will be closer to "truth".

Only those who experience it will be able to know with certainty.

There's "order" that looks fine and brings us comfort but not happiness.
True order may include discomfort and pain but it will make us happy.

by Lily (put - lilyalmond - here <a> yahaah.france) on Mon Apr 19th, 2010 at 05:30:08 PM EST
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