Tuesday Open Thread | 79 comments (79 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)

Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

WASHINGTON, DC--Assuring the nation that "there is no need for alarm," the Office of Homeland Security issued all U.S. citizens life jackets for some unexplained reason Monday.
"Everything is fine. You have nothing to worry about," said Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge during a televised press conference. "Still, just to be 100 percent on the safe side, I would urge all Americans to keep these life vests on at all times."
Ridge said he was not at liberty to divulge the specific reason for the unprecedented national life-jacket distribution, but he insisted that the move is "merely a minor precautionary measure."

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

by ceebs (ceebs (at) eurotrib (dot) com) on Tue Jun 29th, 2010 at 10:59:03 AM EST

Same ol', same ol' (4.00 / 3)

The sad thing is, all The Onion need do is update the name of DHS Secretary from Tom RIdge to Janet Napolitano and it'll still hit the mark.

by Magnifico on Tue Jun 29th, 2010 at 11:20:37 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Same ol', same ol' (none / 1)

Magnifico, why do you hate freedom?

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Wed Jun 30th, 2010 at 02:04:10 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Freedom (none / 1)

is just another word for nothing left to lose.

by Magnifico on Wed Jun 30th, 2010 at 02:59:40 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Freedom (4.00 / 2)