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at present she sees herself as one of the winners.
That's exactly it. You can accept this system when you're young if you believe you at least will win out. That belief being a mixture of romantic faith in the individual, and self-applied pressure ("I'm going to make it because failure isn't an option...").
geezer in Paris:
To lose-even in a riggeed game- means you're a loser.
Bingo again. The internalised sense of individual failure.
Reminds me of this, from The Reef by Edith Wharton:
She recalled having read somewhere that in ancient Rome the slaves were not allowed to wear a distinctive dress lest they should recognize each other and learn their numbers and their power. So, in herself, she discerned for the first time instincts and desires, which, mute and unmarked, had gone to and fro in the dim passages of her mind, and now hailed each other with a cry of mutiny.
Losers of the world, unite!
Mutinous thoughts of our minds, unite!
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