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Thanks vbo, your post explains a lot. You tell about the hurt you felt as a child when your parents separated, and how relieved you were when they got back together. This helps to explain why you are so passionate in your beliefs. Sometimes we are so shaped by our own experiences and perspective, that it makes it hard to see other points of view.

While you don't go into detail, the circumstances surrounding your parents' separation must have been quite serious for you to have decided to "side" with your mother, and "blame" your father, whatever the reason. It's sad that a child age 12 feels the need to choose sides when it comes to their parents.

I am also sorry to learn that your mother died at such a young age. Losing one's mother is never an easy thing. I fail to see, however, how that would have affected your wanting to meet, or soured your feelings towards, your father's new partner. Referring to her as "that woman" makes it clear that for one reason or another you didn't care much for her from the beginning, and I am left wondering why. Did you not feel your father deserved happiness after your mother passed away?

It's also clear that you are disappointed about your own daughter's divorce, and that too is sad, but understandable. Without knowing the reasons involved here either, other than the fact that your granddaughter is suffering, I suspect that you feel that matters would be much better if your daughter had just stuck with it, tried harder, and kept the marriage together whatever the cost, for the benefit of your daughter. Is that right?

by sgr2 on Fri Nov 9th, 2012 at 05:12:29 PM EST
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