On Minority Rights and on Beliefs | 546 comments (546 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)

Re: On Minority Rights and on Beliefs (none / 0)

If you can't respect the parents, the children can't develop self-respect. Children will almost always choose to side with their parents if you choose confrontation.

That runs counter to the personal experience of some of my childhood friends. So I'm going to ask you to prove it. With data.

- Jake

Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.

by JakeS (JangoSierra 'at' gmail 'dot' com) on Tue Feb 11th, 2014 at 01:36:22 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: On Minority Rights and on Beliefs (none / 0)

What sort of data do you expect? You can't compare the psychological impact of teacher X's confrontative behaviour towards parent Y with that same teacher X's behaviour towards the same parent, but now in cooperative style. You can only research the situation in certain schools before and after you run a programme teaching teachers to establish cooperation with parents. If you are really interested, I could probably recommend books (in German mainly), both with the angle of teachers' cooperation with parents of pupils, and not unrelated, cooperation between social parents and birth parents. Here respect towards the birth parents is even more vital for the children's self-respect (and more difficult to maintain).

If your childhood friends say something else, I wonder how old they were when the confrontation took place. And did they tell you about it with the distance of adulthood or then, as youngsters compelled to be "cool"?

by Katrin on Tue Feb 11th, 2014 at 05:22:41 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: On Minority Rights and on Beliefs (none / 0)

Nobody in my circle of childhood friends labored under any particularly burdensome standard of "being cool." And their parents had lost their respect all by themselves.

Yes, there are kids who side with their parents and don't think there's any problem.

There are also kids who put on a brave face and make the best of what they realize is a shit situation.

And then there are also kids who put on a brave face because their experience with society's institutions is that the first, and often only, response is to make mouth-noises at the abusive parent, instead of actually solving the problem.

I don't know which of those three groups is the more prevalent, and it is probably different for different age brackets. But then, I'm not the one who makes blanket statements about the reaction of the vast majority of kids.

- Jake

Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.

by JakeS (JangoSierra 'at' gmail 'dot' com) on Wed Feb 12th, 2014 at 07:20:53 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: On Minority Rights and on Beliefs (none / 0)

You don't answer my question about age. I can absolutely not fathom at which point of child psychology you disagree or if you simply aren't conversant with attachment theory. Or is your question not meant as nomothetically as it sounds? You baffle me, and I have no idea which sort of material ("data") you need. I was NOT talking about "kids who side with their parents" or "kids who put on a brave face". Additionally you seem to be talking about social services not intervening in cases of abuse. Did you notice that I was discussing HOW social services should intervene in cases of abuse? What do you know about bonding in childhood and adolescence?

by Katrin on Thu Feb 13th, 2014 at 08:31:48 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: On Minority Rights and on Beliefs (none / 1)

I can absolutely not fathom at which point of child psychology you disagree

I disagree with a lot of points about child psychology as practiced, and I find most of the little psychological theory I have read to be an equal mix of common sense and nonsense, wrapped in far too much polysyllabic jargon.

I also have some difficulty relating the theory-as-written to the actual practice.

And in both theory and practice I far too often for my comfort find myself unimpressed with the answers to simple questions like "do you have any evidence for that?"

- Jake

Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.

by JakeS (JangoSierra 'at' gmail 'dot' com) on Thu Feb 13th, 2014 at 02:24:24 PM EST
[ Parent ]

On Minority Rights and on Beliefs | 546 comments (546 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

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