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The Daily Beast - Arthur Chu - Your Princess Is in Another Castle: Misogyny, Entitlement, and Nerds

I was going to write about The Big Bang Theory--why, as a nerdy viewer, I sometimes like it and sometimes have a problem with it, why I think there's a backlash against it. Then some maniac shot up a sorority house in Santa Barbara and posted a manifesto proclaiming he did it for revenge against women for denying him sex. And the weekend just generally went to hell.

So now my plans have changed. With apologies to Big Bang Theory fans, this is all I want to say about The Big Bang Theory: When the pilot aired, it was 2007 and "nerd culture" and "geek chic" were on everyone's lips, and yet still the basic premise of "the sitcom for nerds" was, once again, awkward but lovable nerd has huge unreciprocated crush on hot non-nerdy popular girl (and also has an annoying roommate).

This annoys me. This is a problem.

Because, let's be honest, this device is old. We have seen it over and over again. Steve Urkel. Screech. Skippy on Family Ties. Niles on Frasier.

I found out today that one of the guys at work is a Pick Up "Artist", a misogynistic community of men who study the "science" of how to pick up women. Presumably to use them and lose them in a few hours before moving on to the next victim.

So this was an appropriate find.

keep to the Fen Causeway

by Helen (lareinagal at yahoo dot co dot uk) on Fri May 30th, 2014 at 11:47:51 AM EST

After spending time with my family recently, which includes a formidable bunch of empowered women, including my own daughters, I'm so glad my mother was someone.

It is rightly acknowledged that people of faith have no monopoly of virtue - Queen Elizabeth II

by eurogreen on Fri May 30th, 2014 at 02:39:48 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I've gone off on a bit of a tangent there. The problem is that a lot of men have a great deal of trouble adapting to a world in which women are empowered.  Because if we pay attention to the popular culture surrounding us, women remain the reward to which a man is entitled if he plays by the rules.

It is rightly acknowledged that people of faith have no monopoly of virtue - Queen Elizabeth II
by eurogreen on Fri May 30th, 2014 at 03:06:12 PM EST
[ Parent ]
That made me think of this tautly written article I enjoyed today.

Editing While Female - Susan B. Glasser - POLITICO Magazine

'The history of public debt is full of irony. It rarely follows our ideas of order and justice.' Thomas Piketty

by melo (melometa4(at)gmail.com) on Fri May 30th, 2014 at 09:26:36 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Since last year I looked into PUA offerings, after recognizing own lousy nerdy dating "resume". So I will chip in. The PUA online commerce is very active, with products of variable quality and creative payment policies. To get to the good stuff, you need patience and to be less stingy. And deep down, (more or less) everything boils down to guy's character, social intelligence. Women are human beings? Certainly. Especially when it comes to emotions, a guy has to look at a woman humanly without reciprocity expectation. Elliot surely failed at that.

Many guys objectively need good info and help, to overcome the first (pretty strict) dating hurdles and to be more delightful to the girls they fancy. Staying a "gamma" guy can be no less painful than some injustice. On the other hand, that pain and confusion is a part of the evolutionary game, socially acceptable without much argument. Male neediness is a big turn off sexually. These emotions go beyond intellectual or moral understanding.

The PUA community gives more real guidance to baffled guys than anyone else - by far. But eventually, a guy has to take initiative himself to figure out relationship subtleties. One particular confusion for me was "tic-for-tac", "I'll scratch your back, then you scratch back" tips. These equivalence suggestions are not helpful at all. A guy has to show a good deal of determination, leadership, own direction instead. Looking for feedback is just weak - it leads to a down "tic-for-tac" spiral soon.

The relationship basics are not that hard - but then, is there a point to enlighten everyone? Confused young men and women are part of the social game: status and resource competitions, hierarchy joys. This touches primal habits of human species - and perhaps deep evolutionary imperatives of population size control.

by das monde on Sat May 31st, 2014 at 07:55:06 AM EST
[ Parent ]
I read his manifesto to try and get some insight into his psyche and it is horribly fascinating, as he is very articulate and has a memory for detail.

A textbook example of narcissistic grandiosity ("I am magnificent!") coupled to a shyness around women.

Add exposure to extreme wealth, pop culture celebrity and a complete buy-in to the uber-consumerist values of the time and space he inhabited, then make guns childishly easy to obtain, and the perfect cocktail of self-loathing and misogyny had nowhere to go except into punish mode, enraged envy providing the fuse.

I can't recommend reading it, but I did learn a little from it.

'The history of public debt is full of irony. It rarely follows our ideas of order and justice.' Thomas Piketty

by melo (melometa4(at)gmail.com) on Sat May 31st, 2014 at 09:40:40 AM EST
[ Parent ]


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