Reader, we can't do it. We were begged. "But it is an extremely important book," they said. "Regardless of what you think, when a major party candidate gives their candid perspective on an important election, it is worth at least writing a review." And we can't argue with them. They are right. Nevertheless: it is impossible. We cannot review Hillary Clinton's What Hap- pened, because we would have to read Hillary Clinton's What Happened, and this is simply impossible.