... yes, he is a spastic, Uristat-suppurating totalitarian anus ..., but at least there might be an electric nihilist thrill in seeing him bring his pro-wrestling heel act to the fusty business of governing. Even on the delivery of this, he has failed. His presidency ... is flaccid and dismally repetitive. Decreasingly ambitious promises are followed by instantaneous withdrawal at the first sign of opposition, then by petulant lashing-out at Democrats or conservatives or CNN or the New York Times, then by a mewling, self-pitying interview with an organ of the very media he pretends to despise, then by a shuffling of the craven frauds and stooges with whom he surrounds himself ...

The one thing Trump ever had going for him ... was a reef fish's reflexes in pursuit of the next news cycle ... In the campaign, those ... reflexes helped him crush the scattered field of GOP candidates and--give or take a few lucky breaks, a failing civil society that has cast tens of millions of frustrated people completely adrift, and a world-historically unloveable opponent who campaigned on the abundantly false notion that everything's already super duper awesome thanks to our meritocrat overlords--helped make him president. ...

The bright irony is that now that he's in the Oval Office, those reflexes do him no good: ... he has no other moves; of course he doesn't. He's globally incompetent ... a paranoid, doddering old shit-for-brains passing out framed printouts of the electoral map like Werther's Originals and calling up his air-headed dilettante son-in-law to come over and get the dang VCR working.