Welcome to European Tribune. It's gone a bit quiet around here these days, but it's still going.

The stalker and the blog : a lived experience

by Agnes a Paris Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:01:52 PM EST

[editor's note, by AgnesaParis] the story itself has been deleted for privacy reasons.

I am a newbie in the blogosphere: started wandering here when I joined the tribe six months ago and ET is the only forum I attend.
I've never felt attracted to blogs where people put on view their daily lives. It's something I feel incompetent to judge for that matter, as the concept is too weird for me to understand and thus be in a position to blame or approve.
ET belongs to another family of blogs as people shed light on themselves using the prism of the general concern matters. Sometimes sharing intimate events of pain or joy is prompted by the combination of being among familiar and yet anonymous peers.
Before blogs existed, we would talk to the passenger next to us on a train or a plane and found ourselves going through a conversation we would not have with relatives, because we would never see the person again.

The point of this diary is not psycho sociology of blogs, which in itself deserves a whole thread. The way I feel about ET is that it is a community I have chosen, and the option not to interact always exists.
Intimacy remains protected by the fact that we're in a parallel world here, and even if we happen to know other tribers, getting to know them is a choice we made. True, there are lurkers out there, but they respect the different level of intimacy of those who post comments and diaries. Except for trolls.
But what if trolls from the non virtual world use the blog to intrude into one's life? To steal small pieces of intimacy from someone they otherwise failed getting close to ?


Display:
I would like to emphasise that I did not mean to offend those among you who have been (I hope indirectly) in any way close to a rape situation. What I experienced is small stuff compared to what a rape victim suffers.
The purpose of comparison was illustrating the similarity of the way the forfeit is aimed at getting criminal access to something the rapist cannot obtain should the victim had not been forced into it.

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:15:14 PM EST
Is Cyberstalking a crime in France? It is in Britain since 1998.

A society committed to the notion that government is always bad will have bad government. And it doesn't have to be that way. — Paul Krugman
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:20:57 PM EST
[ Parent ]
what definition of Cyberstalking was used to establish that ? I am curious how the law establishes it has to be proven in order to have a court case.

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:25:16 PM EST
[ Parent ]
The relevant piece of legislation is the Malicious Communications Act 1998, together with the Protection from Harassment Act 1997. (link)
Under Section 1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998 it is an offence to send an indecent, offensive or threatening letter, electronic communication or other article to another person and under Section 43 of the Telecommunications Act 1984 it is a similar offence to send a telephone message which is indecent offensive or threatening. In both cases the offence is punishable with up to six months imprisonment and/or a fine of up to £5000. Because the Malicious Communications Offence is more wide ranging than the Telecommunications offence it is more likely to be used by the Police than the Telecommunications Act offence.
What is the status of French Law? Consider that the fact that the communication was electronic does not preclude older harassment laws from applying.

A society committed to the notion that government is always bad will have bad government. And it doesn't have to be that way. — Paul Krugman
by Migeru (migeru at eurotrib dot com) on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:37:27 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I'm sorry to read this story. I hope you are all right. If you think you need to delete (or hide) anything on the site, just ask me.

In the long run, we're all dead. John Maynard Keynes
by Jerome a Paris (etg@eurotrib.com) on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:23:16 PM EST
Thank you, I will let you know for sure.
I am still nervous when the neighbours lock their doors open, and I sort of felt scared to get back to ET until today.

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:27:45 PM EST
[ Parent ]
where  I mention my e-mail address. Whether hiding my comment will delete the Google reference I don't know.

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:56:10 PM EST
[ Parent ]
It is in the google cache, but eventually it will be overwritten if you change the original page (does anyone know how often Googel recaches pages)?

Sweden's finest (and perhaps only) collaborative, leftist e-newspaper Synapze.se
by A swedish kind of death on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 08:22:01 AM EST
[ Parent ]
I understand that kind of thing can be frightening, it took me some time before writing anything personal on ET. I only mentioned I had come back from Lanka after months. Now I'm ready to spill out anecdotes as fast as the CIA can archive them.

Well I think the ET meetups should lift the veil off a number of us. I for example am totally normal without my hijab, and I've managed to keep it a secret that I'm in the Bulgarian olympic bobsleigh team.

by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:32:28 PM EST
I have a more permanent blog-persona privacy control :-)

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.
by DoDo on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:35:35 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Well I've managed to keep my family name a secret for now (though not really, I made a mistake at some point, but I don't think anyone noticed it), and that's the most important part. I'll hand out one letter at a time to those I meet personally!
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:38:32 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Which is ?...

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:43:42 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I keep anonymising my real-life stories and don't write about private life. (Though you got me break that once in December I think.)

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.
by DoDo on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:14:34 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Creep alert! Creep alert! I remember someone seeming to have posted your first name on a diary that I will not name. Why do I remember it? Because when I read it I thought "ahhh ok, that's why, ahhh".

Do you see which diary I'm talking about?

by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:17:32 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I don't see nothing.

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:19:44 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I mean DoDo?
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:34:38 PM EST
[ Parent ]
First name in the English rendition?

I vaguely recall it, but don't remember the culprit. Please do not refresh my memory :-)

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.

by DoDo on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:33:57 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Yes, not the family name. I suddenly have erased all memory of this ever happening, so will not refresh your memory ;)
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:35:43 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Stuff it. My memory refreshed by itself. Fortunately, due to a certain circumstance regarding ET, it would be rather hard to find it with Google.

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.
by DoDo on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:36:46 PM EST
[ Parent ]
what is difficult to hide is that there is a bunch of fairies around here. Fairies of humour, abyssal economics knowledge, equations, cooking, train blogging and last but not least, reporting in high risk exposed areas like the streets of Toulouse... Which category do you belong to Alex ? Tough if you were allowed only one choice :)


When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:42:44 PM EST
[ Parent ]
And as you could see in the Toulouse diaries, I wasn't exactly enthusiastic about showing my face. All people saw were my left thumb, my trekking shoes, (one of) my military pants, and my bicycle. I had a picture of my feet with tongs, with part of my legs and some pair of shorts showing, taken during the last demonstration (because some girls were pasting a poster right beneath me when I had gone back to last week's perching spot, so I thought I'd take a picture of them pasting it) ... but I chose not to publish it, thinking "then everyone will know what my feet/legs look like and what colour my usual tongs are". So I am a bit on the over-cautious side, but not as cautious as DoDo I guess.
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 05:52:11 PM EST
[ Parent ]
exposing the colour of your tongs is not such a big deal. It is not like half of France had seen you naked...:-)

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:00:36 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I don't think I'm ready yet to expose my toes and my ankles to half of France.
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:02:42 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Well, maybe it's the other way around. I don't think France is ready yet. I mean we're talking about fabulous ankles here.
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:03:44 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I'm sure there is a way round your dilemma.
Anyway, are you planning to wear boots on May, the 20th ?

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:07:19 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Well as afew pointed out here, I'll be recognizable as soon as I walk through the door (since I won't be wearing boots, nor a bhurka).
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:10:42 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I am more concerned that people know what I think down deep inside than what I look like. That is superficial, and does not last long. And I won't help it anyway no matter how much plastic surgery I do. :)
Too tired too translate and to google for the author, but " La vraie pudeur, c'est celle des sentiments "

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:18:07 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Well there are possibly a thousand people I'd love to get in touch with again, and who could, who knows, be reading stuff I write here and recognize me ... and that would be great! But there also are a handful people I do not want to recognize me. Nothing to do with the mafia or fleeing anything, just people I don't want back in my life. So I don't mind the world knowing what I think inside, or how I got drunk one night, but I don't want them to say "hey are you the Alex from this place?". Damn I've said too much, this blog will self-destruct in 5 minutes.
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:22:50 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I had suspicions about you right from the beginning;-)).

I can resist anything but temptation.- Oscar Wilde
by Little L (ljolito (at) gmail (dot) com) on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:14:20 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I need to know who tipped you off. No one was supposed to know I was in Turino.
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:18:45 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Noone but the Bulgarian intelligence services I guess:-).

I can resist anything but temptation.- Oscar Wilde
by Little L (ljolito (at) gmail (dot) com) on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:25:04 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Yikes! Umbrellas. Ricin. Watch out, Mr In Toulouse. (Oh shit, I've given the secret away...)
by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 08:15:35 AM EST
[ Parent ]
  1. You addressed this, but I think it bears repeating.  No need to compare this to rape.  The feeling of being violated is not inherently like being raped.  You could just as easily compare it to being mugged or wire-tapped.  Not upset at you or anything, but just asking that we all have a little perspective around here.

  2. It is best to have a rule that you don't post anything on the Internet that you don't want the whole entire world to know.  Because you aren't just talking among friends, you are posting something on a bulletin board anyone in the world can look at.  Is it a violation of privacy if someone gets the info you post?  Not really.  But is it creepy and disturbing anyway?  Yes!  (I have a very unusual name and one day got an e-mail from some complete stranger with the same name.  My e-mail acct. didn't include my name.  So I freaked out and demanded to know how they got my name, who they were.  Sure, I'd posted my name and e-mail all over the internet in the Dean days. But is still scared me to death.)  Is it a violation if they abuse the info you post?  Hell yes.  

  3. I've posted enough stuff on ET for people to figure out who I am even without posting my name or e-mail here.  I've been on the Internet long enough that if someone were determined to find out the goods on me they easily could.  And given my political activism, my job, my travelling to Russia..., knowing the NSA, they probably have.  

I'd say forget rape.  I think we all have an inkling of what it must feel like to live in the Soviet Union or China, where our actions and words are being monitored by strangers who may not like what we are saying or doing.  

Freaky world we live in these days.  But there are pros and cons to blogging, and the pros are winning out for me at the moment.  Hope you decide it is worth it to stick around.  :)

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

by p------- on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:11:06 PM EST
I think you've pretty much summed it up real well.
by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:13:41 PM EST
[ Parent ]
You could just as easily compare it to being mugged or wire-tapped.

Well, there could be the fear of a rapist tracking you down.

It is best to have a rule that you don't post anything on the Internet that you don't want the whole entire world to know.

In practice, that advice is possibly difficult to follow for most, to keep in mind constantly that we are not at a closed party.

I have a very unusual name and one day got an e-mail from some complete stranger with the same name.

Heh, maybe a guy I found with Google with the same name as one of my grand-grand-grandfathers didn't answer my email for similar reasons...

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.

by DoDo on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:27:58 PM EST
[ Parent ]
~ Yes.

~ I think that since the whole Patriot Act, I've become so paranoid about gov't spying that it's pretty easy for me, actually.  Then again, the list of things I don't want people to know about me is pretty short.

~ I think people just distrust personal e-mails from stangers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

by p------- on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:36:01 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Government spying, I get you. For me, that came in the late nineties with the Echelon furore, then after 9/11 for a time I had a .sig filled with terms meant for the NSA (Bin Laden Bush bomb rocket white house anthrax jihad etc.). But I'd fear for the privacy of different information with regards to governments and potential stalkers.

About the last; my Google hit was a post of his at some genealogy forum a few years earlier than my email...

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.

by DoDo on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:48:50 PM EST
[ Parent ]
have a rule that you don't post anything on the Internet that you don't want the whole entire world to know.  Because you aren't just talking among friends, you are posting something on a bulletin board anyone in the world can look at

That is exactly what I was too naive to realise on time. A bit too late now... However, from what i have seen, the only source for my name being on google is ET so I guess I have managed to keep things under control elsewhere.

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill

by Agnes a Paris on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:28:52 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I just checked to see. Good news, there seem to be a lot of people named like you!! (ps: this used to be a game with friends, we'd type a full name search in Google, and then say "shit I didn't know you were a Canadian writer!")

In my case however, typing my full name only gets me. I've tried, and you only find me. You even find me in a company where I only intervened for two weeks, still listed as active staff there (bastards)!!

by Alex in Toulouse on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 06:33:55 PM EST
[ Parent ]
This is why, when we were playing at decoding Gone With The Windmills, I skirted round posting actual details online, and even suggested the game had gone far enough. At that juncture my Sherlock activities had brought me just a little more information than I was comfortable with (since it hadn't been communicated to me by those concerned). Not about you, though, Agnes <darn! ;)>.

I don't think it's paranoid to take care what we put online. At least, if we give personal details, we should be sure we don't mind what the consequences might be. And we shouldn't give information about others, even in play.

AAAARRRGH, I posted a picture of Alex in Toulouse's feet !! He'll get revenge, he'll set Bob on me! I'll get didgeridoo'd!! AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 08:37:11 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Amer gonner git you </bob>
by Alex in Toulouse on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 09:59:57 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Who?
by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 04:29:27 PM EST
[ Parent ]
From what you say, afew, I think I should  get more familiar with the possibilities of Google. The only way I use it is type in one key word.
I'm sure there is some more elaborated  like multiple entry search and that kind of suff. And you are allowed to make fun of me ! ...

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 02:21:48 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Well, just a combination of words or names. The choice of words or the order you put them in can bring up different results. When you're searching (seriously) for information you have to play around with the keywords and permutations. In the case I mentioned, I was looking for confirmation of my hypothesis (about the decoding game), and found a bit more than I needed. So I suggested we stop there, because if we went on we'd be playing with people's real lives...

(Not that this isn't part of our real lives, what we do here. Not for me, anyway).

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 04:27:37 PM EST
[ Parent ]
You can also search for an exact expression by entering " signs around it, such as:

"Bob Marley"

by Alex in Toulouse on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 07:03:49 PM EST
[ Parent ]
That I knew, it's basics, non ?

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Sun Apr 9th, 2006 at 04:19:09 PM EST
[ Parent ]
It is best to have a rule that you don't post anything on the Internet that you don't want the whole entire world to know.  Because you aren't just talking among friends, you are posting something on a bulletin board anyone in the world can look at.  Is it a violation of privacy if someone gets the info you post?  Not really.  But is it creepy and disturbing anyway?  Yes!  

From personal experience, sometimes the people that read such info just want to spoil your day because you've said something they don't like or which counters their world-view and they find that they can can get in your face a bit.

Yes, this happened to me and possibly could have lost my job if somebody had been a fraction more vindictive. The online world is not entirely populated with rational and kind people.

Do not be afraid, but do be wary.

keep to the Fen Causeway

by Helen (lareinagal at yahoo dot co dot uk) on Mon Apr 10th, 2006 at 08:21:12 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Perhaps people in general are not aware of the fact that practically everything on the Internet is captured or recorded at some point. Not just by the CIA or some other government agency, but by search engines like Google and Yahoo.

This is going to be a huge problem as youngsters move into the workforce, because the very first thing employers do (in the U.S., at least) is Google the name of a job applicant to see what you've been up to on the network. Every blog entry, stupid comment, and anti-government (or pro-government) editorial you ever posted is recorded forever, for everybody to see.

Further, with a name you can find an address and phone number and birthday. With an address you can find an aerial photograph and a map and what you paid for your house. With a birthday you can find the names and ages of your kids. If you've put your picture into Facebook (like most college kids have), it's out there forever. Virtually everything that's in the public domain is out there already.

The way I look at it is that we live now in a global village. In the Middle Ages, say, when travel was difficult and most people lived in the same place their whole lives, there wasn't really much "privacy" because everybody knew everything about you. This whole concept of privacy is a new phenomenon that grew up with the advent of big anonymous cities, and is artificial. There isn't much legal backup you can rely on to protect yourself.

So, just be aware that if you're typing it on your computer, there's a good chance that everybody in the world will be able to read it forever. Future bosses, divorce lawyers, spies, thieves, you name it...

by asdf on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 08:03:54 PM EST
Because I'm a paranoid...

I suggest the following:

  1.  Write everything down in a memo and put it in an envelope.

  2.  Include the jerk's real name, any contact info you have, and photo, if you can get one.

  3.  Give it to a lawyer, if possible, or someone who has some legal standing so the police won't disregard them.

  4.  Let your intimate friends know who has the envelope and to contact the above person if you go missing.

Most likely nothing will happen and a year from now you can laugh at me.


She believed in nothing; only her skepticism kept her from being an atheist. -- Jean-Paul Sartre
by ATinNM on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 08:03:56 PM EST
I am neither a psychologist or a therapist so this should be taken for what it's worth, but I was stalked many years ago by someone who sounds remarkably similar, and it was a very uncomfortable time. Someone who enjoys control to the extent you describe could be joking or could be seriously deranged. ATinNM's advice is sound. It's better to be paranoid now and laugh about it later if nothing happens.
by northsylvania on Fri Apr 7th, 2006 at 10:32:26 PM EST
I used to be very scared and careful at the beginning of my Internet experience not to reveal too much about my private life but I gave up on it. At one time being very loud against Milosevic (during his time of leadership) I even received treats from the creep (political opponent) claming he lives in Sydney and will come here in Brisbane "with his boys" to "show me". Really I am not afraid at all for my self and never was .I experienced real bullets above my heads during demonstration in Belgrade where person was killed. I was shit scared but it didn't stop me to come at the same place that same evening. My first though was while I was looking for cover "what if my children are around" (my daughter was 15 and they protested in her high school too).I was always afraid for my family. I would never forgive my self if anything happen to them.
But it's not possible to enjoy Internet without being personal no matter how one may try. I don't really care anymore. In the end I end up putting my photo on that same site. I asked that creep to give me his e-mail address so that I can send him my postal address (and inform police about his intentions of course).He never wrote back.  


Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind...Albert Einstein
by vbo on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 12:28:55 AM EST
As, er -- is there any way of saying this without sounding puffed up and self-important? -- minor celebrities for 20+ years, we've been stalked, have received crazy letters, once from a guy in jail who thought he'd killed John Lennon, another from a guy whom at first we thought was a child, but turned not to be (oops) and was in a place "where they didn't let him have access to a typewriter" (I never inquired further) and the only thing I can say is, you get used to it.

99.99% is totally harmless if a bit disquieting, and can usually be dealth with a little common sense and basic empathy. Eventually, you can dine on some of your best stalking stories, like the one time we were stalked by a Doctor Who fan disguised as a cactus. I kid you not.

by Lupin on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 05:11:55 AM EST
A Doctor Who fan disguised as a cactus is pretty funny, even better if he'd dressed up as a Dalek or an English telephone booth.

Though the Lennon reminder is spooky...

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 08:45:18 AM EST
[ Parent ]
If you're really into DW, the guy was dressed as Meglos, a cactus-like alien from the last Tom Baker season. He got p.oed because he hadn't won a prize in a costume contest we were judging (among other judges).... Anyway, it's a long story.

Mrs Lupin once took me to talk for inviting a convicted murderer to our house -- at the time I invited him, I didn't realize he was a convicted murderer, of course. A very disturbed guy. But everyone was very nice and on their best behavior. They smell fear, you know. :-)

by Lupin on Sun Apr 9th, 2006 at 01:47:17 AM EST
[ Parent ]
No doubt you may see from my references that I'm Doc Who from early, like its first appearance on British TV in black-and-white, which I remember being knocked out by like all the other kids. I just checked the classic series site: November 1963. (I was fifteen.) I haven't followed the series down through its later developments, mainly because I haven't remained in contact with British TV (or any TV at all for many years).

Glad to know convicted murderers are cool as long as they can't smell your fear (or, thinking of Hannibal Lecter, anything else). Olfactory deprivation might be a means to reducing the serious crime rate. But this is maybe moving over to more dark side than is fair to Agnes, given the subject of her diary... :-)

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Sun Apr 9th, 2006 at 03:15:32 AM EST
[ Parent ]
You can do another thing. Post completely contradictory information in different places....

And you can always state that you lie in the forums..

That would be my solution... I do not lie if I am fine with everybod knowing it and I lie (well lie.. give contradictory information) without problems if I realize I would not like it to be known... which does not happen very often.

A pleasure

I therefore claim to show, not how men think in myths, but how myths operate in men's minds without their being aware of the fact. Levi-Strauss, Claude

by kcurie on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 07:11:09 AM EST
That's an interesting and original advice, at the very least, Kcurie.. :)
But what if a potential employer says you cannot be trusted because it is web-spread knowledge you always lie on forums ?
Thou shall not lie ...

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 02:29:06 PM EST
[ Parent ]
I think an employer should be very happy that you protect your privacy... and that you only lied on personal issues and only on the web. I do nto think it will ever happen to you...it would be a weird employer.. tracking you down on internet? Well, I would not get very close to this kind of boss in any case.

In a side note. Personally,  I think that lying is basically a force for the good. This world would be a mess if everybody would go around saying the truth.. but this you can not say to your boss. Me neither. So I lie :)

A pleasure

I therefore claim to show, not how men think in myths, but how myths operate in men's minds without their being aware of the fact. Levi-Strauss, Claude

by kcurie on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 04:10:39 PM EST
[ Parent ]
" this you can not say to your boss"

He isn't saying it to you either...

;)

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 04:54:02 PM EST
[ Parent ]
First thing I'd do with a prospective employee is Google them. Especially if their CV indicates they should be findable.
by Colman (colman at eurotrib.com) on Mon Apr 10th, 2006 at 04:46:16 AM EST
[ Parent ]
I am privacy-conscious when it comes to political stuff. I hardly comment on political diaries, and do so only on the ones related to French politics . In such cases, I stick to issues and refrain from judgements on the people themselves. The only exception were the CPE threads.

When through hell, just keep going. W. Churchill
by Agnes a Paris on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 03:16:17 PM EST
I am so sorry about what happened...
I have been thinking a lot about internet, blogs, that invisible medium that has been invented....to serve...ultimately... to whom...for what.
I was wondering why people has created the so called fifth estate, why they have seized to communicate in the real life (if not yet, they are about to do so) say over a cup of coffee or a cup of tea? Why children instead of playing outside in the fresh air prefer to sit in the dim internet cafes and chat or play virtual games? Why do their parents prefer to say what they want or have to say before the whole world instead of doing so before his/her wife/ husband? Why do they need to share their concerns with so many people they do not see, touch, and feel (is it only for the sake of intellectual debate)? Why they have created a medium where no one (really) knows anyone, why personal contact has seized to be so important? It will take months  (truly) to accept some one on a blog, but it will take only a minute even less, to feel the person sitting before you. Nowadays, people seem so close to one another, yet so far...  
The internet privacy where does it start or where does it end? Once my Professor, who is a respectable member of the ET community, has told in one of our class discussions that in order to build an internet credibility one should at a point of time reveals some personal information, which would show the rest of the members that he or she is willing to be part of the community and can be trusted, not someone who has just subscribed to say hello. Well what would happen if one decide not to share that piece of information, to keep it for himself/herself, because one does not want the whole world to learn about it, but at the same time to be granted a full membership? Does this not at a given moment make the whole purpose of the exercise meaningless?
I see that you are a community, very intelligent and liberal one. It is so nice that you can share your concerns, thoughts with a bunch of people who are going to engage in a discussion (true) that only the internet space allow. Yet, for the research I have engaged myself in,I would like to ask you if it was not for the ET ( or any other blog) where and to whom would you say that want you need to?
Global village...so true... One thinks that he/she is protected sitting on a chair in front of the computer writing sympathetic messages. Until one day someone does not ring on his or her door with the words "Hi, do you mind if I come in. I saw you on the internet and came to say hello."
Meet your future.
by Harlem on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 07:42:16 PM EST
I can't speak fot others, but my intro to blogging and "blog communities" was via a political campaign (Dean for America).  And for me, the comfort I was able to achieve with people on a blog helped me get up the courage to attend meetings and get out and work with the people I'd met on-line in the real world.  As a result, some of them have become quite good friends in "real life."  Many many of them have become real life acquaintances.  

So in my experience, blogging has been a way to open the door to new friendships, working relationships, etc.  Also, I think a lot of us also have friends and family outside the blog (to answer your question) but with a blog, it seems there is always someone willing to talk to you about whatever subject you are obsessed with at the moment.  Moreover, my real friends and family are mostly not in Paris or Cairo or Sofia, so it is extrememly cool to be able to communicate with people on the other side of the world.  What an opportunity!

As for sharing personal information, I think that should never be mandatory, but bear in mind that everyone wants to know that the person they are talking to is wo they claim to be, and also, it is easier to share your opinions, etc. with people you trust.  Divulging personal information is a sign of trust.  

The sociology of blogs is extremely fascinating.  

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

by p------- on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 09:36:03 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Yikes.  Remind me to proof-read my comments.  

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
by p------- on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 at 09:37:43 PM EST
[ Parent ]
"...it seems there is always someone willing to talk to you about whatever subject you are obsessed with at the moment."

You are so right that blogs gives the opportunity at any time to engage in an interesting conversation and eventually meet those you think are worth doing so. But what I was and I am still looking for, is why do you need outsiders to share your piece of information, to share something, as you put it, you are" obsessed at the moment". Is it not obsession something deep and personal, which you decide to expose before the whole world because you think no one of your friends is going to share and appreciate your interest in the way you expect them to do?
Is it not so much easier to pick up the phone and just call them? Or is it too costly?

Ultimately I have to agree that "the sociology of blogs is extremely fascinating" for good or for worse.  

by Harlem on Sun Apr 9th, 2006 at 08:11:39 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Well, like I said, through blogs I've met people I now pick up the phone and talk to.

Bear in mind that when the whole blog phenomenon began, America was in this strange post 9-11 state where people who disagreed with the our government were villified and the media really suppressed our viewpoints.  So blogs provided a place where people could discuss issues anonymously and find people who felt the same way.  And get together in big enough numbers to start a movement.  I don't think places like kos, Blog for America, even Booman and ET were set up for people to find friends or share personal info.  They were always about politics.

I don't know what it's like where you are, but in America, discussing politics, even with friends and family, can be very difficult.  Sometimes you just don't want to put that kind of stress on a valued relationship.  Plus, since we can't rely on the media to tell us what's really going on, we have to find out ourselves.  And blogs are a great way to disseminate that kind of information.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

by p------- on Sun Apr 9th, 2006 at 11:49:02 AM EST
[ Parent ]
I am usually very protective about my identity online - My moinker does not give away my real name, but when reading my comments, one can find out more about my person.
My wife is forever criticising me, that I am not blogging more personal stuff on my blog, but then she just started a new blog because her mother started to comment on her blog...

hehe, I just googled my name and it is like in Alex case only me, that comes up, with the earliest entry in 1995 in my wild political youth.

by MerryLikeXmas on Sun Apr 9th, 2006 at 04:55:45 AM EST
This works particularly well, if I am at my wife's and use her computer with her login.

Yes, that's how carefull I am.

by PeWi on Sun Apr 9th, 2006 at 04:57:25 AM EST
[ Parent ]


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