i knew i had karma with this blog when i received the user number 131!
it's been the most common number in my life since the age of 12, so when it comes up, i know it's something special, seeing the statistical improbability...
it was really fun, watching the folks arrive through the years, learning such interesting material, couched so humorously, a real breath of fresh air. little by little it carved more and more out of my days and nights, as i put aside other interests to bend around my laptop and blog like it was going out of style...
it just kept getting better and better, i had found intellectual nirvana, and like any behaviourist rat starving for his fix, i jacked the pleasure button over and over bleary eyed till dawn on more nights than i want to believe..
till recently...
i'll keep this part mercifully brief...not one of my strong points, lol!
being insulted is ok for me, up to a point i can laugh at it, ignore it, or choose to explain it away to myself as an anomaly...
except when it isn't...
still, one person with a hate-on, surrounded by so many other gentlefolk, that could be supportable...
then that changed too.
i now see something dark has happened here, even sinister, and it has taken me since boxing day to get it clear in my mind, what has broken for me.
why not just slope off and forget it?
i will, i will, don't rush me!
it's usually my way when a party isn't fun any more, just bail...
i never really felt i belonged here, though i enjoyed visiting, and became smitten with much affection for the idealism and positive ideas emerging from the discussions.
notwithstanding the nice comments and 4's i received for my work/play in ET's sandbox, and the pleasure i took in affirming my beliefs in a genial, tolerant, friendly and open atmosphere, i'm writing this diary to say a sad sayonara to the many good folks who've been gracious and riffed on my betises, or rated me up, and to give my reasons, for not to do so seems unmannerly and ungrateful, seeing as i respected a great proportion of the posters for a long time, due to their principled approach to blogging.
my verbosity is a big problem, and i thank dodo for pointing it out. this would be plenty enough reason to take a month off, with self-imposed gag.
certainly better than gagging on what some of ET has become.
when a FPer can gratuitously insult a fellow blogger, get away without a smidgeon of criticism, then when the person attacked responds in kind, and is then re-attacked by another FPer, a line has been crossed that denotes when the dysfunctionality is not a rogue element, but institutionalised, and groupthink is at hand.
jacob freeze, aka FPS, who has had an issue or two with ET, actually gained a lot of respect from me with his post about how he didn't understand why metavision felt the need to apologise.
but when i saw how many piled on him, and how many people here i respected were amongst them, i knew it was time to exit asap.
very creepy indeed, the old dark euro-id, the one we have spent countless hours shadow boxing and name'n'shaming, right there, downloaded, installed, and operating its trojan malware right here on my ex-favourite blog.
that's it really.
it's been a wild ride, but a major chunk of the integrity has gone. in fact the idea that this group of souls was going to help design a new, juster europe just took a mortal tumble, from where i stand.
nothing too new here, i'm afraid.
pogo .... was....right....
i'll keep reading ET, but if it can't own up to what it has become, then, just chalk it up to my childishness distorting my perceptions...
so y'all are cool, enjoy your mirror.
the cracks don't matter... except to me, you still look good.
aloha, see ya in the next world, don't be late...
flame away, or better still, save yer breath.
no comment at all would say plenty, but if you want to say good bye, here's a place to do it where i'll respond, before my 'austerity' period, lol...
thanks for the fun times...
wage peace
