by dood abides
Thu May 24th, 2007 at 09:16:08 AM EST
Grainy video of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid being held hostage by a group of "Kossacks"
Washington, DC (APE) - A spokesperson for Democratic Arizona Senator Harry Reid early this morning confirmed that the senator was missing, and indeed appears to have been taken hostage. Fox news network is reporting that it has received grainy cell phone footage of the Senate Majority Leader being held hostage by a radical group of left-wing terrorists operating under cover of the popular progressive blog, "The Daily Kos".
Democratic officials speculate that the senator was kidnapped in retaliation for announced plans yesterday for the democratically controlled House and Senate to acquiesce to the president's demands for continued unlimited funding for the war in Iraq without oversight.
FBI and CIA experts were scrambling to authenticate the thirty second video clip. At present, no one has stepped forward to claim responsibility, and no list of demands has surfaced.
The Daily Kos' self-described Mayor, Markos Moulitsas denied any responsibility in the apparent hostage taking. "The Daily Kos will be cooperating fully with authorities, what choice do we have?" stated Moulitsas.
Democratic representative from Illinois Rahm Emanuel has reportedly asked for and received protective custody with the FBI.
A spokesperson for the White House stated that the president would bring all available resources to bear on a resolution to the situation and insisted that Reid would be recovered, dead or alive. "Domestic terrorism is very real, and this incident drives home the extent to which the our own internets have been infiltrated and used against us," stated White House press secretary Tony Snow.
Senate Minority Leader John Boehner immediately called for a congressional investigation into liberal multimillionaire George Soros and his possible involvement in the kidnapping.
The White House dismissed as wildly speculative the theory that the kidnapping may have actually occurred at the hands of a group attempting to solidify support for the current war funding bill. It said that the president would likely be declassifying later today domestic intelligence gathered over two years ago showing the infiltration of the Daily Kos by Al Qaeda sympathizers.