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Never Forget The Trolls

by rg Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 at 10:56:24 AM EST

I am not a Nord, unlike Sven, who is a Nord.  I am a Sud, who lives sort of in the Nord, but sort of not.

We who live in Temperate Climes sometimes find mushrooms.

Those in the Nord find Amanitas.


But then again, we know that Sven is not a true Nord.  He lives among the Nords and they accept him, but he knows that what they call "Nords" is a flexible concept, and they should be honest about that.

So....

Trolls

Big ugly beasts you have to fight off with your pitchfork...

unless you've watched Shrek.

How to tell a troll?  

http://www.hyphenologist.co.uk/killfile/anti_troll_faq.htm

There are hundreds of FAQs about trolls and, maybe like religions, there's always one that dings your bell.

Yes!  You think.  "That's what a troll is like."

And so you learn their methods and (if you're like me) you think--oh no!  I may have been behaving...

But if you read a good troll FAQ (search for Troll FAQ and, as you all know! you will find plenty)...

...if you read a good troll FAQ you will know that the fairy dust exists in the word "humorous."  There be the fairy dust, Private Private.  Fighting your battles from the comfort of your distress.

Any comments about the counting of the dead in Iraq?

There are plenty who dismiss the "600,000" figure.

"It's probably in the low thirties to late sixties."

60,000 dead.  Thank you.  We see the numbers.

They kill one of you; you multiply by...twenty.  Two hundred.

TROLLS!

In all areas!

And beware!  We are all potential trolls.

Have you heard of the PURITAN TROLL?

Or the FASCIST PURITAN TROLL?

Or the NEUROTIC LANGUAGE FOCUSED troll?

When there are no "trolls" on the internet...the internet will no longer be itself...warts an all.

But...every troll....must be prodded.  With the troll stick.

Of course!  Trolls have sticks.

Prod them with lovelinesses and they don't know how to respond.

Prod us with facts (DoDo!) and we (I!) will respond with gratitude.

Private Private has all the facts a guy who has

--fought in no wars
--has privileged skin
--has THE FEAR of losing his privilege...

...but but but...

the trollish part is the

Me
Am
Cool!
Ho!
Oh!

Very culturally specific...urgeth to spreadeth but hath no knowledge of the forces....

it unleasheth

They read 1984,

I wonder: "Why didn't Winston leave his job and get a prole job?"  The proles weren't observed every moment of the day.  They drank and laughed.

A good troll is a prole troll--a drole troll, a wise troll--but a troll...is still a troll.

Y'all have much of great import to say.  If the troll acts as a catalyst: fine.  But trolls are like irritavision.  Their job is to irritate: your job is to scratch.

But what parasite wishes such a situation?  Who benefits from the itching and scratching?

Jerome!  Noble Jerome.  When you and Chris work out your company, and when you both realise you need a gong player--the subtle touch--

Co-operative!

The Anti

yack yack!

I think Private Private dreams of death...and really, Private, if you're dreaming of death you need to sort something out.

Move, fer forg's sake!

It's way too complicated to be pondering "Shiite this versus Sunni that"...

...the rot is within, not just without.

Democracy is, historically, built on slavery and...the slave owners spend little time with the slaves but when the slave doesn't iron the shirt right--boy!  Do those slave owners bitch and moan!

Display:
Trolls don't like their picture taken, so this must have been a dangerous diary. Kudos.

But what's this about Winston?

Afew Troll Technology ™

by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 02:17:48 AM EST
The thing about Winston, for me, is that a lot of people quote 1984 as the book "about fascism".  It's a book about language and Orwell's feelings about how language worked--sez me.

But the idea is: Winston was doomed, like Kafka's Citizen K.  But on a re-read a year ago, it suddenly occured to me: nowhere does it say Winston has to work for the party.  He could (unlike Terry Gilliam's meisterful Brazil) simply drop out--become a prole.  And I felt that was Orwell's class hang-up...and it seems, to me, to be the class hang-up of a lorra people.  They can't just scale back...become poorer, relatively, and get down and dirty with...der proles.  Even though the proles are laughing, having a good time.

Remember when Winston is wandering through the prole part of town and comes across a pub?  And then he wanders back to his apartment.  On my last read-through I thought: "Hey, Winston.  Stop being a snob!  You don't like the telly screen but, be honest, you love the privileges of party membership too much to let go...to fall...

Us rich people, world-population wise...well..."Our lifestyle is non-negotiable..."

and somehow last night that all connected perfectly to trolls!

Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 03:48:08 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Oops. As my Afew Technology logo was meant to indicate, that was a snark about Winston (being as how as what there are other Winstons...). Forgeddabout it...
by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 10:38:34 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Seems like an innocent bit of mythology for the under-sevens, and not really anything to worry about 48 hours before the longest day. But ask yourself these questions:

  • Why does Santa sport the colours of the Fly Agaric mushroom?
  • Why does he talk with animals?
  • What is wrong with Rudolph's nose?
  • Why does he 'fly' at night and with such speed?
  • What is the symbolism of the 'gifts' that he brings?
  • Why does he have little helpers in the form of benign trolls?
  • Why do we attract him to our homes with hallucogenically decorated evergreens?
  • What's with this catchphrase 'Ho ho ho'?
  • Why does he have a sack?

Santa is a shaman. Shamans travel from 'this world' to a 'dream world' to see another reality. The 'trip' is the same trip symbolised in countless legends of the search for a magical world outside ourselves. The trip always involves confrontation with dangerous forces and always a journey via narrow focused passage - through a canyon, up a ladder, up a beanstalk, or across a bridge.

The pons or bridge is a two centimeter connection between the cerebellum and the the cerebrum. It is located on the brain stem. Uniquely it travels laterally. It is the pathway between what we can access consciously and the areas of the brain that we cannot.

So why do you think Santa impractically comes down your chimney?

You can't be me, I'm taken

by Sven Triloqvist on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 03:03:19 AM EST
48 hours before the longest day

Yeah!

http://www.cannabisculture.com/articles/3136.html

Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 03:36:24 AM EST
[ Parent ]
You found exactly from where I stole the basic idea ;-)

You can't be me, I'm taken
by Sven Triloqvist on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 03:39:11 AM EST
[ Parent ]
btw, according to this site we have

2007                        2007
Perihelion  Jan   3 20    Equinoxes  Mar   21 00 07    Sept  23 09 51
Aphelion    July  7 00    Solstices  June  21 18 06    Dec   22 06 08

Which, if untangled, says, I think, that the summer solstice this year is on June 21st--today!  At 18:06...hmmm...I think it means that at midday today the sun is at its highest point in the sky at local noon (plus BST = 1300), and it got up earliest this morning and will go to bed at its latest this evening.  And then winter will be on its way.  But first the summer!



Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 04:12:39 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Strictly correct - however here in Finland we celebrate Midsummer Eve tomorrow, Friday 22nd and Midsummer day on Saturday.

From wikipedia:

Before 1316, the summer solstice was called Ukon juhla, after an old Finnish god Ukko. In Karelia, people had many bonfires side by side, the biggest of which was called Ukko-kokko (the "bonfire of Ukko"). At present, the midsummer holiday is known as Juhannus (or midsommar, for the Swedish-speaking minority), and is the year's most notable occasion for drunkenness and revelry.
Most of the people of Finland burn bonfires (kokko) at lakesides, and eat smoked fish from the same lakes. In the coastal areas that are the stronghold of the Finland-Swedish, these are supplanted by a maypole tradition, transferred from Sweden, and pickled herring.
When Finland was Christianized, the holiday was named after John the Baptist (Johannes) in order to give a Christian meaning to the pagan holiday. The traditions, however, remain quite unchanged and survive in modern-day Finland, although they have lost their original purposes. In folk magic, still well known but no longer seriously practiced, midsummer was a very potent night and the time for many small rituals, mostly for young maidens seeking suitors. Will o wisps were believed to be seen at midsummer night, marking a treasure.
A great many people get very drunk and happy. It is also an occasion when many people look for a relationship (often a rather short one). The statistics for the number of people drowned and killed in accidents are morbidly counted every year while the number of assaults also peaks. It's also common to start summer holidays on Midsummer day.

We are planning a quiet evening in the garden, playing backgammon and Yatzee.

 I doubt if we shall be more than slightly sozzled.

You can't be me, I'm taken

by Sven Triloqvist on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 04:30:27 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Still a lot of pagans around, you know.

Was in Norfolk a while ago - that's a pretty pagan place still.....

"The future is already here -- it's just not very evenly distributed" William Gibson

by ChrisCook (cojockathotmaildotcom) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 04:52:14 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Yeah!  I love the fact that the road to Norwich--the main road from London--runs through Thetford forest, in the middle of which is...a crossroads...and at the crossroads they have put up...traffic lights.

I think there's a pagan edge around where ThatBritGuy lives, too.  Ditto ceebs.

Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 05:03:56 AM EST
[ Parent ]
What you didn't say was that it is a trap for unwary foreigners.

All the lights are set to green.......

"The future is already here -- it's just not very evenly distributed" William Gibson

by ChrisCook (cojockathotmaildotcom) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 05:36:31 AM EST
[ Parent ]
I take it you have never been in one of the miles-long queues that form of a morning and of an evening....when the lights turn to red.

Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.
by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 05:49:22 AM EST
[ Parent ]
I think there's a pagan edge around where ThatBritGuy lives, too.

Stonehenge is an annual rain and darkness fest, of course.

Avebury has seen a crackdown. (My, how the authoritarians love that word.) You now have to pay a fiver to park in the main car park, which holds a few hundred cars. You cannot park anywhere else or you will be towed away. The police are spoiling for a fight. All conversations to be held in whispers, and definitely no guitars or drums.

And so on.

I had the urge to wander over last night seeing as it's only ten minutes from here. Then I realised the only way I'd be able to get there and back safely would have been to borrow the horse from the paddock next door, and tie it up outside the pub once I got there.

by ThatBritGuy (thatbritguy (at) googlemail.com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 05:50:35 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Stonehenge is an annual rain and darkness fest, of course.

When I was reading up on astronomy of the ancient kind, it did occur to me that whereas in some countries (e.g. Egypt) you can probably see sunrise and sunset most days of the year, in England...

"Okay.  It's rising."

"What, you mean behind that large grey cloud?"

When a lot of days are "dull and overcast"...I suppose their calendars were slightly more flexible.

"Well, I think it's today.  I can't actually see it, but I'm pretty sure...ish."

Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 05:57:46 AM EST
[ Parent ]
England really was a free country once, remember?
by afew (afew(a in a circle)eurotrib_dot_com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 10:43:05 AM EST
[ Parent ]
by wu ming on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 at 01:37:53 AM EST
[ Parent ]
... at least we can use the myth in a freedom-provocing manner.

Sweden's finest (and perhaps only) collaborative, leftist e-newspaper Synapze.se
by A swedish kind of death on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 at 11:57:32 AM EST
[ Parent ]
We're all pagans at heart - especially here ;-)

You can't be me, I'm taken
by Sven Triloqvist on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 05:16:58 AM EST
[ Parent ]
I have an urge to watch the sun rise, but that will involve...hmmm...staying up late or getting up early.

London:

Sunrise at 04:43 in direction 49° Northeast

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/city.html?n=136

Helsinki:

Sunrise at 03:54 in direction 34° Northeast by north

Cairo:

Sunrise at 05:54 in direction 62° East-northeast

Johannesburg:

Sunrise at 06:55 in direction 64° East-northeast

A tilted planet...

Tilty!



Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 05:01:20 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Aha, I got to see that sunrise, on the bike ride to work.

I've been accused of being a Marxist, yet while Harpo's my favourite, it's Groucho I'm always quoting. Odd, that.
by BruceMcF (agila61 at netscape dot net) on Sun Jun 24th, 2007 at 06:00:04 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Q: Warum hat der Weihnachtsmann so einen dicken Sack?
A: Er kommt nur einmal im Jahr.

/sorry, lost in translation

"If you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles." Sun Tzu

by Turambar (sersguenda at hotmail com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 09:08:13 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Uh-huh...

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.
by DoDo on Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 at 01:00:40 PM EST
[ Parent ]
You got a santa claus joke?

How about this one?

One day the elves were working, and as we all know it is a cooperative, Santa pays all elves equally and no elf is less than Santa.  Santa is the PR guy, the one who'll flog your CD in the marketplace, he'll get out there and sell your idea.  But without the elves....there would be no toys.

So Santa takes mushrooms.  In fact, Santa decides to munch down some amanitas.  Fly agaric.

For Santa has no fear of psychotropic drugs.  He has taken many, and from an early age.  

He first took mushrooms when he was fifteen.  He found them very useful.

The whole "North Pole" project runs under the aegis of a Chris Cook inspired LLP.

But the thing, thinks Santa, is that I'm running at a loss.  These modern parents, they want to give their little ones everything.  I can't compete.  I only have a limited number of presents to offer.

So what I need is some wow factor, some element that the others don't have.

BUT...he thinks.  The kids aren't the problem.

It's the adults.

They know I don't exist--that I am them and so they have to be me.

So a joke about the size of my ball sack...it's funny, right? It's humorous...because Santa comes but once a year.

This evening, down the pub, a friend was talking about social space--how pandas and leopards need large territories and so they have a problem finding mates.

Turns out there's a fish that lives 2000m below the waves.  This fish, the female version I mean, needs males.  So what does it do?

It has an opening in its siat ide.  When it finds a male, the male buries its head in the side of the female.  It burrows into this gap.  

And over time, the female absorbs the male's head.  It is left with a sack of sperm.

But santa comes but once a year!

Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 at 07:32:05 PM EST
[ Parent ]
btw, it seems the poisonousness of fly agaric has been...overstated.

There has been a great deal of confusing, contradictory and incorrect information published about the toxicity of Amanita muscaria and A. pantherina. This information has appeared in everything from well-respected encyclopedias and mushroom field guides to medical textbooks and poison control center handbooks.

Most of these sources, including mycology references, list both A. muscaria and A. pantherina as "toxic", "poisonous", or even "deadly poisonous".1,2 At the same time, A. muscaria has been used for centuries as a shamanic inebrient and continues to have a small but consistent following as an entheogen.

At least some of the confusion comes from varying definitions and uses of the terms "toxic" and "poisonous". The traditional definition of a "poison" or "toxin" is usually something along the lines of "a substance that causes injury or death". But the terms "poisonous" and "toxic" are frequently used to describe any substance that causes physical illness, even temporary. There is no doubt that some people react to A. muscaria with nausea and physical distress. Even effects which are sought by some--loss of equilibrium, changes in perception, or sedation--would be considered undesirable by others, especially if they occurred unexpectedly.

This, in combination with the desire of most authors to limit liability when providing information about plants that are used recreationally, leads most field guides to use the term "poisonous" unequivocally for all plants which contain a psychoactive chemical. It doesn't take a genius to see the problems with this approach, as readers begin to associate the term "poisonous" with "recreational potential".

Because A. muscaria and A. pantherina belong to the genus Amanita, the same genus that contains two deadly, liver-toxic mushrooms (Amanita phalloides and Amanita virosa), many people believe that the fly agaric mushrooms also contain liver toxins. But the amatoxins and phallotoxins that are responsible for the deadly nature of A. phalloides, A. virosa, and several species of Galerina and Lepiota, and that cause a few deaths each year, are not present in A. muscaria or A. pantherina. At least some of the confusion around this issue stems from the name "amatoxin", which certainly suggests its presence in all Amanita species.

The primary active chemicals in both A. muscaria and A. pantherina are muscimol, ibotenic acid, and traces of muscarine.3,4,5 None of these chemicals are toxic to the liver at the doses present in these two mushrooms.6 And while it's not uncommon for a careless mushroom hunter to ingest A. muscaria and spend the night in the hospital--as they unexpectedly experience drowsiness, hallucinations and twitching--fatalities are few and far between. Children in particular seem prone to ingesting the beautiful red and white fungi, but as stated in a case report of eight children who had ingested A. muscaria, "recovery was rapid and complete in all patients."7

There have been only a few reported deaths related to A. muscaria, and these are generally cases of misidentification, where large quantities were ingested as food.8,9 Jonathan Ott reports in Pharmacotheon that he has only been able to verify two deaths, one related to A. muscaria and one to A. pantherina, and both were in elderly and infirm individuals. One unconfirmed report describes a man who was reported to have died after the ingestion of more than two dozen A. muscaria which he mistakenly thought were A. caesarea (an edible Amanita species).10

While it is probably good advice for the novice mycologist to avoid Amanita muscaria and Amanita pantherina because of the possibility of misidentification, this recommendation for caution should not be misread as evidence of the presence of liver toxins or a poisonous nature.

http://www.erowid.org/plants/amanitas/amanitas_info7.shtml



Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.
by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 05:10:20 AM EST
One shining example of why i'm drawn to this site.  Happy solstice all!  and don't feed the trolls.

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Ana´s Nin
by Crazy Horse on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 08:51:38 AM EST
Be nice to trolls...

...lull them into a false sense of security.

by Sassafras on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 at 10:50:06 AM EST
Nice, commercial trolls, ready to serve you!



Words and ideas I offer here may be used freely and without attribution.

by technopolitical on Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 at 05:39:35 AM EST
[ Parent ]
I'd troll rate you, but then you'd disappear!

"Once in awhile we get shown the light, in the strangest of places, if we look at it right" - Hunter/Garcia
by whataboutbob on Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 at 11:04:47 AM EST
Heh!  I once got the magical 3.14 pi rating, but I haven't been disappeared by a troll-rating...yet.



Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 at 11:47:51 AM EST
[ Parent ]
...and my rating for you is coz you are mega!

(I'm hoping that it takes more than one mega-troll rating to hide a comment.)

Oh, and the troll part...Lilian sent me a photo showing what you look like first thing in the morning.



Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.

by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 at 11:52:57 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Definitely can be the way I am in the morning! And yes, I deserved your troll rating...which is only appropriate <heh>

"Once in awhile we get shown the light, in the strangest of places, if we look at it right" - Hunter/Garcia
by whataboutbob on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 at 05:59:14 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Hey, now you've got a 2.66 rating.  I'm sure this is a most auspicious and magical number--great good tidings of pleasure coming your way, Bob!

Don't fight forces, use them R. Buckminster Fuller.
by rg (leopold dot lepster at google mail dot com) on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 at 07:36:56 AM EST
[ Parent ]


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