by dood abides
Mon Sep 10th, 2007 at 08:15:46 AM EST
Former pop star Britney Spears and Al-Qaeda front man Osama bin-Laden rehearsing for upcoming video
Hollywood, CA (O! Online) - Reporters for O! Online have learned that there are plans in the works for a possible joint comeback tour for Britney Spears featuring Osama bin Laden. This comes after independent disastrous performances by both over this past weekend. Bin Laden had released his latest video, which has been universally panned by critics for its post-editing flaws and obvious overdubbing and lip sync problems. A noticeably nervous Britney Spears was blasted last night for her performance in her long heralded comeback appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards. Spears was noted to suffer as well some of the same lip sync problems and lack of animation as displayed by bin Laden during her performance last night.
Noted terrorist video producer Adam Gadahn, or "Azzam the American", stepped forward last night on an Islamic fundamentalist website to claim responsibility for bin Laden's poor performance in his latest video.
"No one was more disappointed than me," stated Gadahn, "and honestly I came this close to being decapitated. It was a real miscalculation upon my part, and the new material we came up with for Osama just didn't work. Also, but this is no excuse, choreography, rehearsal, and other production concerns are a little difficult in a safe house."
A spokesperson for Ms. Spears who was contacted admitted that a possible deal was in the works, and that the previously frosty relationship between Spears and bin Laden had been warming somewhat. Spears, a formerly adamant supporter of President Bush and his policies has said after 9/11, "I think we should all just trust the president", but now may be rethinking her affiliation over the five year Iraq war.
Photographs from rehearsals are rumored to have have cropped up on the Internet, but spokespersons for both artists have denied that any collaboration has begun in earnest as yet.
A number of sticking points between both artists have been identified.
Spears reportedly has been adamant in her refusal to wear the black sequined burka insisted upon by bin Laden stating that, "it chafes". After critics made light of her possible weight gain during her MTV performance last night, Spears is rumored to be reconsidering the burka. A deal has also reportedly been worked out in which Spears, who has had to face growing criticism over her parenting, will hand over childcare responsibilities of sons Sean Preston and Jayden James to a local Los Angeles madrasa.
The Spears camp reportedly has been concerned in regards to bin Laden's overall stage presentation, but his recent trim and dye job appears to have alleviated this. Bin Laden's insistence upon a position for his niece, performer Wafah Dufour, had been a minor sticking point, but a spokesperson for Spears stated that they have given her, "a second look". The Spears spokesperson admitted that Dufour was very attractive, and talented, and could possibly be featured as a backup singer and dancer to Britney.
"Give Me Bush" will reportedly be the first collaborative video between the two.
"This one could really be magical and controversial," stated Hollywood critic Jiminy Glick. "Let's be honest, both of these folks are going nowhere right now. They just may be able to provide that certain creative spark for each other that will allow them to be able to electrify audiences once again. Everything has changed since 9/11."