by FPS Doug
Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 at 10:23:13 AM EST
(From the notebooks of "Jacob Freeze")
$200 oil will be very bad news for the bourgeoisie (insert dozens of links), but every cloud has a silver lining (or similar proverb), and although the Youth of Tomorrow may never see a decent wage in the crashing economy, he, she, or it can look forward to cheaper and cheaper thrills from our allies in Afghanistan.
According to the DEA, Afghani heroin is now selling in Los Angeles at $90 for a highly pure gram. That works out to about a dime per pure milligram (compared to $2.50 in 1975, equivalent to about $10 in today's money). Five milligrams is a hefty dose for a naive user. So a first heroin experience is now available for less than the price of a candy bar.
Fifty cents for a ride on the White Dragon!
You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows (Forty miles of bad road/ If the Bible is right, the world will explode), and honest valedictorians of the Class of 2008 will forget about promoting traditional virtues to their unfortunate classmates.
Your pension will be annulled! Inflation will zero out your pitiful savings! Your children will beg in the streets! Your world will dry up and burn down!
That's your future, riding a 100 mph Santa Ana wind across the sky!
You can't stop it, you can't even slow it down, but you don't have to feel a thing, thanks to our friends and allies in Afghanistan.
Fifty cents for a ride on the White Dragon!